Secrets And Whispers Of An Unsound Mind
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: During a visit with his Mother, Spencer experiences his first psychotic schizophrenic episode that radically changes his life. Diana Reid loved to baby her son before, but now it's the only way she knows how to keep him sane. The secret between the two of them would not remain secret for long... Rated M for infantilism and dark themes.
1. Secrets And Whispers Of An Unsound Mind

Dr. Spencer Reid was well-respected amongst his colleagues and the general public. A child prodigy, he was often held to a higher standard, which he enjoyed- most of the time.

There were times when he wondered what it would be like to be a normal kid. Even as a very small child, he took care of his paranoid schizophrenic mother. He barely knew his father before he left their family. Although he related well to adults, he didn't understand social convention with others his own age. He often felt alone and isolated, especially when his mother was having a schizophrenic episode.

From his earliest memories, he recalled that he had always sucked his thumb.

He had done it especially during his mother's schizophrenic episodes. He would sit there, thumb in his mouth, clinging to his mother's hand when she would start to hallucinate. Only occasionally when the hallucination got bad enough would she push him away. When that would happen, he would run to his room and shut the door, thumb in his mouth and tears streaming down his cheeks.

Although he was intellectually ahead of his peers, he was stunted when it came to his emotional growth. He knew sucking his thumb was bad, but he needed something stable in his life, and that was it. As he grew older, he knew he should stop, but couldn't. Old habits die hard.

It simply went uncorrected. More because he refused to do so. On bad days when he felt sad and alone, the thumb snuck it's way into his mouth.

His germaphobia did come into play, and he made certain to clean his hands before putting the digit into his mouth. Occasionally it went in too soon and made his mouth taste awful. That was the price he paid.

The only one who knew of this habit was his mother. On occasion, when he went to visit her, she would cuddle him and hold him close while he stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked. He was her baby, through and through.

Diana loved to baby her son. The schizophrenia did nothing to obscure that. Whenever she had the chance, she'd mollycoddle him. Whenever Spencer came into her room, she knew he'd had a hard day. She'd offer a sympathetic shoulder for him to cry on. He wasn't afraid to cry in front of her. He acted infantile all the time with her, because he could get away with it. No one else understood his need to be babied.

Today, he was visiting his mother in the sanitarium. He checked in at the front desk and headed to her room. The nurses passed him by without a second glance. He opened the door and then pushed it shut. Diane was lying on her bed, and her head snapped toward the door. Her face broke into a grin, and she got up and went over to hug her son.

Spencer was happy. "Hi, Momma."

Diane kissed her son. "Hi, baby."

Still remarkably strong despite living in some squalor, she hoisted her son onto her hip. She sat on the bed and settled him on her lap, running her fingers through her son's hair. She gave him a kiss and he smiled, burying his face into her neck.

Slowly but surely, his thumb slipped into his mouth. Diane smiled as the rhythmic sucking began. She cuddled her son tightly.

"How's my baby doing?"

Spencer smiled behind his thumb. "Good."

"Good." She grinned, and kissed him again.

She rocked slightly, pressing her son to her chest. He kept her sane during the worst of her schizophrenia. She looked forward to reading his letters every day. She hummed a soothing tune quietly, and they sat together. It was a moment frozen in time- one of peace and gentleness.

They sat there for a long time. Spencer kept his arms wrapped around her neck as he snuggled into her. It was so easy for him to forget that he was older, and slip back to a time where there was no expectation of his behavior, and where he was just a little boy, incredibly attached to his mother. Diane was more than happy to indulge him.

Spencer began to whimper quietly, and Diane's hold on him tightened in response.

"What's the matter, baby?" She asked softly.

Her child began to sob. She rubbed his back in soothing circles. She brought Spencer's face out of her shoulder and pushed the hair away from his eyes, and wiped his tears away.

"What is it?"

"I-I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"I-I'm h-hearing t-things. The voices... They won't stop."

Diane's heart sank in her chest, and she held him tightly.

"It's okay, baby. They can be stopped, I promise."

He cried into her neck, trembling in fright.

"Mommy... Make it stop. Please, make it stop..."

She cuddled him and kissed him. "I wish I could..."

Spencer continued to cry at the terror besieging his mind. Diane rocked him and held him tightly, understanding the exhausting delusions plaguing her son. Her maternal instincts went into overdrive as she fought to defend her son from the invisible demons attacking him. She felt helpless, but continued to try and comfort him. The worse the voices became, the more Spencer regressed in behavior. She simply held onto him and reassured him of her presence while the voices in her son's head threatened to eat him alive. It was all she could think to do. She stayed that way for hours, praying that her son would somehow be granted peace from the voices tearing his sanity apart bit by bit.


	2. Emptiness

When Monday Morning arrived, the BAU team assembled, with the exception of one member.

"Anybody seen Reid?" Asked Morgan, looking at the empty chair. Everyone shook their heads no. Morgan immediately called Garcia and put her on speaker.

"Hey." She said into her headset.

"Hey baby girl, can you track down Reid?"

"Sure, give me one second..." She said, typing furiously. "Got him! His phone is at the Bennington Sanitarium."

"Is it on?"

"No, it's turned off."

"Okay, thanks."

"No problem."

Morgan hung up. They all looked at Hotch for a signal about what to do. His face was emotionless, but his eyes still bore a great amount of intensity.

"Let's go." And that was that.

They flew to Las Vegas to personally fetch Spencer Reid from the sanitarium where his mother resided. They went in as a group and looked at the check in desk. Rossi stepped forward.

"We're here to see Spencer Reid. Do you know where he is?"

The nurse looked at her computer.

"He's in his mother's room."

"Thank you."

They went into Diana Reid's room to see her sitting on the edge of her bed with her son sitting in her lap, with his hands clamped over his ears. She hushed him as he whimpered quietly to himself. She could feel the fear rolling off of her son in waves as he shook in terror.

"Mommy..." he whined, afraid.

"I'm here, baby." She said, pressing him closer to her, her inner protective instincts coming out.

"I want it to stop..."

"I know... I wish I could stop it, and I'm sad that I can't." A doctor pushed past the group of FBI agents with a pill and a cup of water. Diane took them and mouthed a 'thank you' before turning her attention back to her son.

"Spencer, can you look at me?" Her voice was higher pitched, as if she were talking to a small child. Slowly, Spencer looked up her. She held out the pill and cup, and her son flinched. "I know the voices are telling you not to take it, but you have to trust me. It will help quiet them down."

Spencer's eyes were hopeful yet terrified. "Do you promise?"

Diana felt her heart get crushed inside her chest. For a moment, he looked like the two year old child who was afraid to sleep in the dark. "I promise."

Tentatively, he took the pill and cup and, still scared to death, swallowed them. Diane gave him a tight hug.

"Good job." She kissed her son's forehead. "Do you feel any better now?"

Spencer nodded. "A little." He still felt that he couldn't catch his breath.

"Take your time and calm down." She said, soothingly. Spencer nodded. It was only then that Diana noticed the FBI team at her door.

"May I help you?"

They all shared a look. Morgan stepped forward.

"We're here to see Spencer."

Although he was there, Spencer was unmoving.

"I'm sorry. He can't leave right now."

"Why not?"

"He's having a psychotic episode." They were all silent. Spencer appeared to not have heard them. His gaze was fixated at something far off, and his mouth hung open slightly. Diana looked at him worriedly, and ran her fingers through his hair. "You'll have to come back later."

Hotch decided she was right. Spencer's welfare was far more important. They left, feeling a gap in their team where Reid was missing. Diane turned her attention back to her baby, and cuddled him tightly.

"How do you feel?"

"Small..."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh..." She could tell something was wrong.

"Spencer? What is it?" Her worry was ill hidden.

Spencer put his thumb back into his mouth and whimpered. He mumbled something that Diana couldn't understand.

"What was that, sweetheart?"

He turned and whispered it into her ear. Her face relaxed and she picked him up. She carried him into the bathroom. For a long time she'd been aware that Spencer was incontinent, the unfortunate after effect of the Detrusor muscles in his bladder contracting without warning. Changing him was no different now than it was when he was a baby. She knew he felt embarrassed, but she didn't mind. Her son continued to suck his thumb to distract himself from the change. Soon enough she picked him up and took him back to her room.

She held her baby in her lap and kissed and hugged him, hoping to make him feel better. Spencer smiled and laughed, despite the voices talking to him. Small moments like that made Diane a proud mother.

Spencer slowly came back to reality. He could smell his mother's distinct scent and was calmed by it. He felt safer. He was still scared to let go of her. Diane was more than happy to keep him close to her.

"Are you with me, now?"

"Yes, Momma."

Diane wanted to sigh sadly. Whenever Spencer was frightened or felt little, she was always "Mommy". When it was the two of them, she was "Momma". Only in public was she "Mom". She gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"Now you listen to me, young man. When you get back to work, I want you to see a psychiatrist and get on medication. Do you understand?"

Her voice was stern and commanding. He nodded, understanding the seriousness of his predicament.

"Good."

They spent a good amount of time talking, and eventually Spencer had to leave. He gave his Mother a hug and kiss before he left.

Only when the door was shut did Diana finally cry.


	3. Promises And Letters

Spencer saw a psychiatrist that weekend. Dr. Aaron Kahn was an older gentleman with graying hair and a darker complexion. His accent was thick and his words were almost incomprehensible.

After explaining his Mother's history, Dr. Kahn prescribed him a low dosage of Clozaril. When the short visit was over, Spencer immediately headed to the pharmacy to begin his new medication regiment.

That evening, he sat down at his desk back home, and began to write his daily letter to his mother.

_Dear Momma,_

I spent my day today doing as you said. I saw a psychiatrist today. His name is Dr. Kahn, and the only thing thicker than his hair is his accent. He prescribed me a low dosage of Clozaril. Today I am beginning a new medication in hopes of keeping a psychotic episode at bay.  
The episode I had while I was in your room was strange. I told you about the voices, but the really scary thing was that it felt like something was scratching my arm hard. That's why I cried. It felt like I was all alone in this dark place, but I knew you were there because I felt you holding me and I could smell you. When you tried to give me that medicine it looked like the water was bubbling. I know it's all in my head, but it was still terrifying.  
I didn't know how bad this illness was. I watched you growing up, but I never knew how it felt. Not until now, at least. I'm so sorry. I didn't know how this felt, but now that I do I have no idea how you raised me with this condition practically paralyzing you in your mind. You're my hero. I can't wait to come and visit you again. I miss you. I'm so thankful you were there to help me through my first psychotic episode. You're the only one I'd trust if it ever happened again. I know you'll always be there when I need you.

Love,  
Spencer  
  
Diana read the letter with a smile. Her son had now walked a mile in her shoes, although she desperately wished he hadn't had to. She felt enormous guilt for passing her illness onto her son. Her poor baby now suffered because of her genetic code. In a way though, she was glad. Because of this experience, he was stronger. Her son had built an armor against the world. One of the chinks in it was her condition. Now that chink could be filled, but still yet another takes it's place. His own battle with mental instability. All she wanted to do was shield him from all harm, but she knew she couldn't protect him from this. She went to her desk and decided to write her son a letter back.

_My Dear Spencer,  
My heart is breaking for you. From the day I found out I was expecting you, I prayed that this curse would never befall you. You are the best thing I ever did with my life. Every mother wants their child to succeed. I watched you grow up overcoming every obstacle put in front of you. There is no mother prouder of her son than I am. That will never change.  
I know you're scared. It's perfectly natural to be. You cannot let that fear rule your life. I know that you'll see things that scare you. I know what it feels like to feel the scratching and hitting. It makes you think you're crazy, but you aren't. Others can't see it, but if it's real to you, that's what matters. Talk about it to people you trust. It'll be a hard road ahead, but I believe that you can do it.  
If you ever need me, I'll be there. If you start having an episode, call me. I will always answer. I love you, sweetheart. Nothing will ever change that. You will always be my baby boy._

All My Love,  
Mommy  
  
Spencer looked at the letter and smiled. He went and pinned it to his bedroom wall. He sat on his bed and looked at it, remembering his last visit with his mother, and the psychotic episode that came with it. He hoped that would never happen again, but he knew it was likely. He went to bed that night, praying that his mother's condition would improve, as would his own.


	4. You And I

A few weeks passed with little activity. Cases came and went, and the days ran into one another. Spencer continued on his medication, and still wrote to his Mother each day.

Nothing happened- until one day when Spencer had his guard down.

He was sitting at his desk, knee deep in a book, when he started hearing whispers. He looked up, but no one was there. Fear welled up inside him, but he didn't waiver from his course. The whispers grew louder, and he could hear the comments more clearly.

_"You are so stupid."_

_"Why should we waste our time with you?"_

_"Weather... Something wrong."_

_"You have to stop it."_

_"Stop it with your mind."_

Spencer's anxiety skyrocketed and he reached for his phone. He speed dialed the sanitarium and waited. A perky receptionist answered him.

"Bennington Sanitarium, this is Julie, how may I help you?"

"My name is Dr. Spencer Reid, I need to speak with my Mother, Diana Reid, immediately."

"One moment please."

The few seconds of silence were the most torturous of Spencer's life. Finally, his mother answered.

"Hello?"

"Mommy?"

Diana's heart stopped in her chest. "Spencer? What's wrong?"

"The voices are back..."

"Oh, baby..."

"I don't know what to do."

"It's going to be okay. Just stay calm and keep telling me what's happening."

"They're talking... I'm scared that they're going to hurt me."

"I promise that it's just a hallucination."

"I still feel it."

"I know. That's the hard part."

Spencer felt himself beginning to crack. The voices kept getting louder and louder. He made his hand into a fist digging his nails into his palm.

"I want you."

The words pulled on Diana's heart strings. "Oh, sweetheart, I miss you too..."

Spencer's heart leapt into his throat, and he wanted so badly to cry. He wanted to suck his thumb and get a hug from his Mommy. He kept talking to his mother as he tried to read and complete his work. He called her when the day was over and he got home. He went into his bedroom and shut the door, sanitized his hands, and started sucking his thumb. He cried, finally succumbing to the terror inside of him.

Diana soothed her son as best she could. He promised to come and visit her that weekend. When he took another pill, the voices quieted. On Friday Afternoon, he saw his psychiatrist and had his dosage of Clozaril doubled. That evening, he flew back to Las Vegas.

The next morning, Spencer Reid arrived at the sanitarium, still shaken from the psychotic episode. He found his Mother in the library, reading. Diana felt the presence of her child in the room, and quickly swept him into her room. The second the door shut, Spencer put his thumb in his mouth and sat on the floor. Diana sat on the bed waiting for her son.

"Mommy..." It came out as a scared whimper. Truthfully, he wanted to wail. "I want hold me." He reached up for her. Diana got up and picked up her baby. She cuddled him tightly as he started to cry.

She could remember when her son cried like that as a baby. She recalled ruefully that it was so much easier to comfort him then. He was so scared now, and with good reason to be. He sobbed and whined even though his mother was there to comfort him.

"Mommy's here. Mommy's got you." She kissed his forehead and rubbed his back in circles.

"Scary..." He trembled against her.

"I know. Are you still taking your medications?" She asked in a warning voice. Spencer removed his face from her neck, still crying and having trouble breathing.

"Yes."

"Okay, okay." She said, quietly. "Can you take a deep breath for me?"

Her son still gasped for breath. He shook his head "no". Slowly but surely, he calmed down. He moved from sucking his thumb to sucking his fingers, making him seem even more babyish.

"I wanna ba ba."

Diane did not react facially. Inside, she felt worried. She ran her fingers through her son's hair.

"Okay, baby. Okay."

She asked a nurse to bring her a glass of warm milk, and she sat her son on the bed. She went over to her bookshelf where behind a few books lay a plastic bottle. She had told no one at the institution about it being there, because she didn't want to explain why it was there. It wasn't contraband, but she still kept it a secret. When the nurse came back, Diana thanked her, and shut the door to her room. She poured the milk carefully into the bottle and screwed on the nipple. Spencer was still crying, but had stopped when the door had opened. He sobbed quietly, but his cries lessened when his mother put him back in her lap. He burrowed into her and laid down. Diana brought the nipple to his lips and watched her son suckle on the bottle.

Spencer felt himself relax as he began to suck. The need to draw out the milk gave him a singular focus. He heard his mother humming to him. It was an old lullaby that he'd heard time and time again. Slowly but surely, he fell into a dead sleep.

Diana removed the half empty bottle from between her baby's lips. She cradled him in her arms and kissed his forehead. In his sleep, Spencer smiled. Slowly, she watched his thumb find it's way back into his mouth. For a moment, all was still.

Then, the delusion began. However, the weight of her son in her lap anchored her. Some obscure sense told her not to move. She didn't know why, but she listened to it. She sat there while she watched people enter and exit her room. Her paranoia went through the roof, but she didn't make a sound. She held out for a long time, and eventually the delusion passed. Not long after that, Spencer finally woke up.


	5. Surprises

Spencer opened heavy eyelids, and saw his Mother looking down at him with a smile on her face. He gave a happy squirm, but frowned not two seconds later. Diana was quick to pick up on why, and took her son to the bathroom for a change. He kept sucking his thumb as he tried to wake up. Diana led him back to her room, and he sat happily in her lap. She nuzzled her son and showered him with affection. He was thrilled to reciprocate.

"How are you feeling, baby?" She asked in a higher pitched tone.

"Good." He hid his face in his mother's neck.

"Are you feeling shy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know..."

"Are you still worried?"

"Kinda..."

"Did you talk to your doctor?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't want you to worry about it anymore, alright? You can't worry your life away."

"Okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good."

Diana cosseted her son. "Are you hungry?"

Spencer nodded.

"Do you want to go eat?"

"I don't want to see people."

"I understand that. Do you want to see if we can eat in here?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Okay."

Diana was elated to have a private meal with her son. "Do you want Mommy to feed you?"

He nodded, chewing on his fingers. She cut up his chicken into bite sized pieces and started feeding him. There was corn and mashed potatoes as a side dish. Spencer was happy being babied, and Diana could feel it. Bite by bite, Spencer ate his dinner. He felt no shame at his mother feeding him. He wagered that if his mother wasn't in this sanitarium, he'd have her at home with him, living this lifestyle all the time.

Diana felt peaceful for the first time in a long time. It was just her and her baby, and that was how she liked it. After he ate all his dinner, Spencer was reintroduced to his mother's arms as she fed him the rest of his bottle.

Relaxed and happy, Diana started reading to her son. Spencer sat in her lap, sucking his thumb. He was reassured by the knowledge that his mother loved him. He remembered Mommy sitting on the couch and reading to him when he was a little boy. Whenever She'd start to hallucinate, he'd squeeze her hand twice to let her know he was there. She'd squeeze back once if she thought the hallucination was bad enough that she thought he should leave. It was their way of communicating between realities.

It was their last defense against a cruel disease that threatened to snatch both of their lives away.

The weekend ended all too soon for both of their tastes. Spencer had one last cuddle with his mother before flying back home. He went along with his week, albeit a bit sullenly, and continued writing to his mother, as well as calling her. He missed her so much that it hurt. He kept taking his medication, but felt worried. If he had an episode the first time through, what was to stop it from happening again? He tried to reassure himself, but felt panic rise in his chest.

He spent days walking on egg shells. He wanted to live by his mother's words, but he couldn't help himself. As the month wore on, his anxiety lessened, but never completely dissipated. Life still went on as it always had. Three months had passed with no episodes. Spencer was at peace with himself.

Meanwhile, his Mother was hard at work doing something special.

After her son's visit, Diana went to see her doctor, and asked to be transferred to a facility in Virginia so that she could be closer to her baby. Her doctors agreed, and she moved to The Piedmont Sanitarium in Burkesville. Spencer was overjoyed to have his mother close by, and went to see her every weekend. She shared in his joy. She cried with happiness after he left.

He had become her little boy again, and she couldn't have asked for anything better.


	6. Here And Now

The week began the same as always, with a case. The team was in the middle of a stakeout when the whispers began. He stayed back, petrified with fear of his own mind. He went back to the car and sat in the back seat, waiting for the rest of the team to come back. He put his face into his knees and clutched his head. The voices got louder, and he began to shake. He had no cell phone with him, so he couldn't call his Mother. He had never felt so isolated.

The others piled into the car. It was too dark for them to see Reid breaking down. When they got back, they all looked to see him trembling in the back of the car.

"Reid? You okay?"

Spencer did not move. Morgan whipped out his phone and dialed Garcia.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Reid is having an episode. Can you get a hold of his Mom so we can figure out what to do?"

"Yeah, no problem. One second." Garcia patched him through to the Piedmont Sanitarium.

"Piedmont Sanitarium, this is Maggie, how may I help you?"

"Hello, may I please speak with Diana Reid?"

"One moment please."

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Reid, this Derrick Morgan, I work with your son. He's having a psychotic episode, and we don't know what to do."

"Is he sitting down?"

"Yes."

"Sit below him on his right side and squeeze his hand twice."

"He has his hands over his ears."

"Pull it off. You have to do this or he won't move. Don't get off the phone yet."

The instructions were bizarre, but they followed them anyways. JJ sat below him and squeezed his hand twice. Spencer's head popped up.

"Did he squeeze your hand back?"

JJ shook her head. "No."

"That means that the hallucination isn't bad enough that he's afraid he'll hurt somebody. Can you put the phone next to his ear?"

"Yeah." He did so. "Okay, it's there."

"Spencer? Can you hear me?"

"Yes." The response was robotic, and it broke her heart.

"What do you see?"

"A cat... It won't stop scratching my arm..."

"Are you bleeding?"

"No."

"What else do you see?"

"I can't see anything else. It's too dark."

"Okay. What do you hear?"

"Voices. They're screaming..."

"What are they screaming at you?"

"You don't want to know."

"I need to know what they're telling you."

Spencer sighed. "That they're wasting their time with me, and that I'm so stupid, and that there's something wrong with the weather and I have to stop it. That I can't trust anybody. A-And that, t-that..." The last one was physically painful to hear.

"What, baby?"

"T-That you're g-going to leave, just like D-Dad did..." It was like a knife stabbing him in the chest.

Diana felt like crying, but held herself together. "I promise you, baby, that will never happen."

"I know."

"They always tell you lies that hurt. I promise that you will be alright."

"Okay."

"Come and see me when you get the chance."

"I will. Bye, Mom."

"Bye Baby."

The cell phone was removed from his ear, and he decided to stay in the back of the car until the episode passed. When all the doors shut and he felt he was alone, he cried. He wanted his mother to hold him so badly. He cried himself to sleep, trying to Feel his mother's embrace around him.


	7. Watching You

Penelope Garcia had kept a close eye on her friend since hearing of Spencer's psychotic episode. She had heard the phone call between him and his mother, and had hacked into the video cameras in the sanitarium to watch over him. She was shell shocked at what she saw.

Spencer Reid was quite literally his mother's baby boy. At first she didn't quite understand it- he was a genius and he chose this lifestyle? As she continued watching, she realized it wasn't her prerogative to understand. She saw the love and affection between mother and son, and was touched by it. They needed each other in ways that others could not imagine. She vowed not to tell a soul. She found him sucking his thumb endearing and sweet.

The secret remained quiet.

Diana held her baby close as he began to fall asleep. He had always been her heart's treasure. She stroked his hair gently and sang to him.

She gently laid him onto her cot and tucked him in. Spencer, still sucking his thumb, smiled in his sleep. She gently kissed his forehead before putting the book on it's shelf. She sat in front of her son, just watching him dream. She could have stayed that way all night. She fell asleep not Long after her baby did.


	8. Fever

**A/N: The poem below is an original.**

The next morning came with a beautiful sunrise. Diana woke early to see her son still sleeping. She got up and changed into her clothes for the day, and ate her breakfast. With her son still asleep, she got out her journal and began to write a poem:

_The greatest treasure of my heart  
Is my sweet child who will never part  
My joy, my wonder, and all my love  
Goes to my angel sent from heaven above  
There is no greater pleasure I can seek  
Than to gently kiss his velvet cheek  
I hold my baby when he's close to tears  
Which never stops throughout his years  
My pride and joy is my genius son  
Who is unlike anyone  
No matter how big or old he gets  
His place in my heart is always set  
I still feel pride swelling in my chest  
And every day consider myself blessed  
To hold and love my precious child  
Who always makes my heart beat wild._

She heard Spencer stir, and quickly shut her journal and put it in it's place.

Spencer rubbed his eyes with his fists and let out a whimper. Diana picked him up immediately.

"Do you need Mommy to change you?"

Spencer nodded, not awake enough yet to speak. He laid his head on her shoulder as she carried him to the bathroom. She changed him easily as he tried to wake up. He reached his arms up to her and opened and closed his hands, begging to be picked up. Diana obliged, but immediately sensed something wasn't right.

"Mommy," he whined, "I don' feel good."

She put a hand to his forehead. He was burning up.

"You're going right back to bed, young man." She left no room for arguing. She laid him down on the cot and pulled the blanket over him. Spencer stuck his thumb in his mouth, trying not to cry. Diana rubbed his back gently, and it broke him down. He sobbed and cried while his mother held him tightly. He felt awful. His head was pounding, and his stomach was roiling. His nose was stuffed, yet running, and his fever gave him chills.

Diana was terrified that her son would hallucinate. She channeled that panic into playing the role of caretaker to her son. The doctors there all knew Spencer from his weekly visits, and decided to help out when Diana told them he was sick. A nurse gave her two pills. The first was his daily dose of Clozaril, and the other was a pill to bring down his fever. When she held them up to him, he turned his head away. Putting anything in his body was a horrifying prospect. He refused to take them.

Diana's fears were proven right as her baby slipped away into hallucination after hallucination. The only constant was his mother holding his hand.


	9. Panic

Monday came with it's standard dread. When the team assembled in the BAU, Reid was missing yet again. It was Garcia who called Morgan to let him know that Spencer hadn't left the sanitarium because he'd been afflicted with illness that had left him helpless. A new case had begun, but their focus wasn't one hundred percent there because of their fear for Reid.

They went to the sanitarium together. What they found was heart wrenching.

Diana sat in a chair beside her son, holding his hand. Spencer reached up for something that wasn't there, his eyes focused and still confused.

"P-Please make it stop." He begged. His voice was small and scared.

"I wish I could, baby." Her voice was stable, but a tear streaked down her cheek.

"Mommy," came the whine that brought with it her son's new tears, "It's mine. It's mine."

"I know, I know..." Her guilt was palpable to everyone in the room, even as she tried to soothe her delusional son. Hotch cleared his throat, and Diana turned her face to him. The exhaustion and anxiety had clearly taken it's toll on her.

"Mrs. Reid, we came as friends to see how Spencer is doing."

"That's very kind of you." She said calmly. "He's barely in touch with reality. The fever is so high that he hasn't stopped hallucinating since Friday..."

They all blinked in surprise.

"Would you like to discuss this outside?" Rossi suggested.

"I can't."

"Why not?" Asked JJ.

"If I let go of his hand he'll start screaming like a banshee."

Morgan's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

She nodded tiredly. "Really."

Spencer started whimpering, and Diana checked her watch.

"Would you please give us a minute?"

Hotchner nodded. "Of course."

They left the room, and Diana carried her son to the bathroom for a change.

The team just exchanged sad and disappointed looks.

Spencer was on her hip when the door opened again. "Thank you."

Diana carried him back to bed while the others watched, bewildered.

Reid swatted at something they couldn't see, and nearly struck his mother.

"Spencer," Diana said in a warning tone, "If you don't calm down I will put you in time out."

He couldn't stop hitting the air.

"Okay then." She let go of his hand, and his expression became frantic.

"No! No!" He shrieked. "Come back! Please!"

"Are you going to calm down?"

"I can't control myself!" He sobbed, gasping for breath.

Diana's guilt was unending. "Are you ready to take your pills now?"

"Yes! Yes!" He cried.

"Okay. I'm going to hand you the pills."

"But I can't see..."

"Okay. I'll put them in your mouth and hand you the water."

"Kay..."

She gave him a few minutes to calm down and catch his breath.

"Ready?"

"Yes..."

Two pills were dropped into his mouth, and Spencer reached a shaking hand up for the water. His mother helped him sit up, and he took a drink of water and swallowed his pills, despite every nerve in his body screaming "don't do it!".

And then, it was over.

"Good job!" She said, squeezing his hand. Only a small smile was given to her. Her baby rolled onto his side facing her, and stuck his thumb into his mouth. Diana, like so many times before, ran her fingers through his hair.

The team felt as if they were watching a scene in a snow globe. It was so... Different than what they had expected. The interaction between Mother and Son was so childish and yet so fitting. They smiled unconsciously at the scene before them.

Diana decided to push her luck. "Do you think you're ready to try and eat?"

Spencer paled at the thought and furiously shook his head "no".

His mother's face fell. "Will you try and drink something for Mommy?"

Her baby was quiet, which gave her hope. "What do you want?"

There was a deafening silence that seemed to trudge on forever. Finally, it was broken.

"I want water."

Diana felt relieved. "Okay. Mommy will go and get you water."

Spencer smiled a little.

"Are you ready for me to let go of your hand?"

"Okay..."

"I'll be back very soon, alright? I promise."

"Okay."

As soon as she let go, Spencer shut down. He curled into a ball and clamped his hands over his ears. His friends watched the scene with sadness and wondered if there was anything they could do.


	10. Hard Realities

The hallucinations were all too real. Spencer watched a black, shiny blob that was constantly changing shape.

"What do you want?" He asked, terrified. A stick-like arm began reaching toward him, growing fingers shaped like talons. The voices were screaming non-stop. He shook like a leaf. The talons stopped right near his face and he tried to put as much distance between it and his face as possible. It grew longer and scraped against his cheek moving down toward his chin. He could feel tears leaking from his eyes. There was a deep, maniacal laugh coming from the black thing. The talons dug into his arm, and he shrieked in pain. He moved to examine his arm, and saw blood forming. He put his fingers on the wound and pulled it away to see deep red. He looked at it with morbid fascination. He looked back up and saw the black blob had vanished into thin air. He felt panic taking over his body, and started to hyperventilate.

Diana ran back to the room when she heard the scream. She returned to see her son clutching his arm and crying. She bolted over to him and squeezed his hand twice. He started the process of calming down. Diana waited until he was calmer before she asked "What happened?".

"There was a black thing with talons that scratched my face and dug into my arm."

Diana thought her guilt would consume her whole. "Where did it hurt you?"

Spencer pointed to a spot on his arm. "Let me fix that."

She took one of her sweaters from the closet and wrapped it around his arm and applied pressure. Her son immediately calmed down. "Do you want to take a drink?"

He nodded. Diana helped him up and sat on the bed to set her baby in her lap to feed him.

The team had watched Reid's horrifying encounter with the blob, and felt a new sense of guilt. Watching him in his mother's arms underlined his youth and his desperate need to be cared for. Seeing him suck on a bottle was strange and confusing, but it was natural too, in a way.

As Spencer drank his water, he felt calm and serene in his mother's embrace. It wasn't real, and he needed to know that. He felt comfortable and loved. Suddenly, he picked up on a small change in his Mother. He took her hand and squeezed it twice. She squeezed back once, and he shot up in her arms.

Even though he was sick as a dog, he leaned against the wall and walked out the door, still unable to see, and made it to a nurses desk.

"My Mom is having an episode."

The pretty young nurse paged a doctor, and escorted Spencer to a different room so that he could rest. She helped him to his bed. He thanked her, and laid down. His emotions were running wild. He tried to tamp them down, but they wouldn't stop.

He moved to a sit at the side of the bed. The team, who had followed Spencer to his room, had never seen such a heartbroken expression cross his face before. He couldn't hold it in any longer, and buried his face in his hands and started to sob.

Hotch's arm brushed against the door, and it banged against the wall. Spencer's head snapped up.

"Who's there?" There was silence. "Come out!"

They all shared a look. Did they dare reveal themselves? Hotch nodded.

"It's just us."

His shoulders slumped, but his worry persisted.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to see how you were doing."

"Oh. Thanks..." He still felt confused.

They all filed into the room and gathered around him.

"We're here because we care." The sentence made Spencer smile.

"Thank you." He didn't know what else to say.

"That's what friends are for." Said Garcia.

They were there for each other through the worst of times, and from that, Spencer derived incredible comfort. He felt that although his world was crumbling before him, his friends were always there for him.


	11. Sweet Memories

Spencer woke up the next morning on his bed, sucking his thumb. He immediately went to go see his Mother. Diana was still sleeping. He snuck into her room and sat down by her bed, just wanting to be close to her. He curled up on the floor with his thumb in his mouth, and went back to sleep.

When Diana woke up, she was pleased to find that her hallucination had passed. She looked down to see Spencer laying beside her bed and smiled. She gathered him into her arms and went to change him. Her baby was a dead weight in her arms. Completely knocked out. She changed him and then held him in her arms. Every feature of his face fascinated her. She remembered the first time she'd seen his beautiful face.

Her pregnancy had been terrifying. Every day the demons in her mind took over. She took comfort in rubbing her stomach. Her baby loved her so much. Every little kick reassured her that she had been doing the right thing.

She sat in the rocking chair in the nursery she and her husband had designed, wearing a long, patterned maternity dress with a cardigan to match and comfortable shoes. The walls were painted a cheerful yellow. A white crib with a mobile and a changing table leaned against one wall, and on the opposite was a little bookshelf stocked with children's books. The rocking chair leaned against the back corner of the room. A dresser and closet were adjacent to it. She looked at the crib, which had a blanket draped over one side, and some cuddly toys inside of it. She smiled as she ran her hand over her stomach.

"I hope you'll be happy here." She said. A kick was the reply she got in return.

She went to get up, and felt the rush of water down her legs. A sharp pain ripped her abdomen, and she let out a shriek. Her husband was out at work, so she drove herself to the hospital. She had a high threshold for pain, so she wasn't really bothered until six hours in. Her hands were sweaty and shaking, and her face was contorted with pain. She was ready to kill somebody.

Time passed by at a turtle's pace. She didn't know how long she suffered at the hands of her baby, but at last the time came for her to push. She dug her nails into her husband's hand hard enough to draw blood. She shrieked at the top of her lungs. The pain was intolerable and unbelievable.

Just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, the pain stopped as abruptly as it had began, and a cry pierced the air.

She felt weak and was so exhausted that she wanted to fall asleep, but she stayed awake so that she could meet her baby.

"Congratulations Mrs. Reid, it's a boy."

She smiled thinly. She had a son.

A bundle of blue blankets were suddenly coming toward her, and a small weight was placed in her arms. She looked down, and was shell shocked at what she saw.

He was complete perfection. He had a shock of dark hair on his head, and his eyes were perfectly shaped like almonds. He had a button nose, and the most beautiful mouth Diana had ever seen. His skin was fair, but his face was red from crying. Slowly, carefully, she ran her index finger down his velvet cheek. A little hand reached up and wrapped his hand around her fingers.

That moment, suspended in time, was the most important moment of her life. That was when she fell in love with her son.

She smiled, white teeth aglitter. She leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Welcome home, baby."

In her room in the sanitarium, she leaned down to repeat the action that had heralded her son's arrival. She cuddled him gently, careful not to wake him, as she remembered the moment that had made her dreary existence absolutely perfect.


	12. How The Other Half Lives

**A/N: Sorry for the wait guys! College started up this week, so I've been super busy. I'll try and update as soon as I can!**

Spencer woke up in his Mother's embrace, feeling calm and relaxed. Diana smiled down when she felt him stir. She gave him a small squeeze and another kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning." She said, cheerfully.

Spencer rubbed his eyes and grumbled out a "good morning". It was so hard to wake up. He needed a cup of coffee, but knew that wouldn't happen under his mother's watchful eye. Even if he left to get coffee and came back she'd know. She always had. He assumed it came with maternal instincts. He tried to keep his eyes open, but was having trouble doing so.

Diana smiled at his innocence. She scooped him up into her arms and went to change him. Spencer, now used to the process, hardly batted an eye. After changing him, Diana put her hand on his forehead. It was a little warmer than usual, which meant that he might hallucinate. However, with his temperature now lower, he was much less likely to. She picked him up and settled him on her hip before taking him back to her room. The two of them ate what they wanted of their breakfasts while talking quietly to one another. It made Spencer wonder what a life here would be like.

He carried the question around in his head. Every so often it popped up like a Jack in the box. Diana noticed the look on his face. He'd worn it often as a small child, deep in thought. She sat on the bed and pulled him into her lap, stroking his hair, gently.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer nearly flinched.

"How did you...?"

"A mother knows." He sighed deeply.

"I was just wondering what it would be like to be here full time..." The words made Diana freeze. She turned her son to directly face her so that she knew she had his undivided attention.

"Spencer, I want you to listen very carefully to what I have to say. I have never resented you for institutionalizing me. You did what you thought was right and you helped me get the help I needed. Sweetheart, as much as I would love to see you every day, I know that this isn't what you were destined for. You have education, you're a genius, you have a job you love and friends there that love you and accept your faults. You help save people every day. I wouldn't be a good mother if I let you stay here. I want you to use your gifts to help change the world around you for the better. Your disorders do not define you- you define them. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mommy." Diana smiled weakly.

"Good."

She gave him a big hug. "Do you feel better?"

"A little..." Spencer snuggled into her. "Thank you."

"That's what Moms are for." Spencer smiled. It brought relief to Diana. She missed that grin. She ran her hand down her son's cheek and put her hand beneath his chin and lifted it up gently. She was so proud of him.

Spencer was happy. He could feel his Mother's pride. It was thick in the air above them. She lavished him with affection and took care of his needs, reiterating that she wanted his fever gone so that he could go back to work the next day. Spencer distanced himself from the remark. He wanted to stay at the ward with his mother, but he understood her point of view. She loved to see him succeed. He sensed, however, that she had reservations about it. His instincts were right on.

Diana didn't want her son to leave. She loved having him close to her. She knew it was selfish, so she tried to tame the need. Occasionally it bested her. She knew what was best for her child, even though it wasn't what she wanted.

It was the true form of a mother's love.

She spent her day catering to his every need. Spencer was touched at her actions, and vocalized his appreciation often. His mother just smiled and held him. Time passed at an alarmingly fast rate, and soon the end of the day was drawing nigh. Diana took her son's temperature just before bed, and found that his fever had been eradicated.

She waited until he was asleep to let a few tears leak from her eyes. It was selfish and silly, but she couldn't help it. She missed her son, even though he came to visit every weekend. She wanted to coddle him every day. She wished desperately that she were normal so that they could live this way all the time. She laid down on the floor, hoping for the best for her baby.

She fell asleep not long after.


	13. Stillness

Diana woke up early to see her son off to work, albeit a bit broken hearted. She hugged him tightly, kissed his forehead, and held his face in her hands.

"I'm proud of you, baby."

He smiled. "Thanks Mom."

With one last hug, Spencer headed off to work.

The team was relieved to have Spencer back. He was happy to be there, But felt an emptiness he couldn't explain.

Quickly, a case arose and Reid was put back to work. The man who read 20,000 words per minute could both solve crimes and worry about himself. Sometimes he was distracted, but quickly got himself back on track.

It became hard to focus on things, and little things started to slip by. He'd forget to brush his teeth, or didn't comb his hair enough. He sanitized his hands less and less. It became hard for him to change himself.

Slowly but surely, a black cloud came to hang over his head. Although he continually visited his mother, and loved his work, he began to feel depressed. He began to speak less at work, and moving became a chore.

One day, he didn't show up to work at all.

The team showed up at his apartment to see him lying on his bed, not moving.

"Reid?" Prentiss called. He didn't respond.

Hotch and Rossi went in to see him with his eyes open, unblinking.

"Reid?" He was unmoving. Hotch and Rossi shared a look. Spencer's cell phone lay on his bedside table, charging. Hotch picked it up and dialed the number for the Piedmont sanitarium.

"Hello, my name is Agent Hotchner with the FBI, I'm Dr. Reid's superior. I need to speak with his mother immediately."

There was a pause.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Reid, this is Aaron Hotchner speaking."

"Hello Agent Hotchner. Is something wrong?"

"Spencer isn't responding to us when we talk to him. His eyes are open, and he's alive, but we don't know what to do."

Diana gasped as if she received a blow to the gut. "You need to bring him here immediately. He's catatonic, and he can't take care of himself."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Of course."

They helped carry Reid to the car and drove to the sanitarium at light speed. Diana had been permitted to wait by the door to collect her son. Her guilt had become a literal weight on her shoulders, and she stood haunched over, looking terribly exhausted.

Spencer was carried in, and Diana rushed over to pick him up. She gathered him into her arms and laid him on her bed as gently as she could. She pulled a plastic chair up to his bedside, and took his limp hand in her own. She was trying so hard to keep her head on straight, but was losing her battle to keep her tears at bay. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself before she spoke.

"Hi, sweetheart. I know you can hear me. I heard you when I was going through my catatonic phase. I want you to know that it's going to be okay. I'll take care of you." She gave him a kiss on the forehead.

She took him into the bathroom to change him, certain that he was unable to move himself. She decided to give him a Bath first. She started a warm bath for him, and gathered shampoo, conditioner, and body wash from her own shower caddy. She leaned him against the back wall, and was reminded of the many times she had bathed him as a small child. She scooped water into a small plastic bowl and tipped her son's head back before pouring the water into his hair, and working the shampoo into a lather. She rinsed it out and put on conditioner before washing her son clean. The entire time she remembered how he looked when he was so little. She looked in his eyes as she washed the conditioner out of his hair. They were lifeless, vacant, and glassy. It pierced her heart with pain.

She finished bathing her son and dressed him. Promising to only be gone a moment, she went to find a nurse and asked her to bring a liquified meal to her room as soon as possible. The nurse nodded and left. Diana made a beeline back to her room. She was terrified to leave her son alone. She held his hand tightly and stroked his hair until the liquified meal arrived. She opened his mouth and poured some into his mouth. She knew the process of feeding him would take hours.

"Spencer, I know you can hear me. Can you swallow for me, baby? You need to eat something. I know you don't want to move, but if you get this over with now then you won't have to worry about it later."

This encouragement lasted an hour before Spencer finally swallowed.

"Good job!" She praised. "I'm so proud of you."

The rest of the BAU arrived around three o'clock. By that time, Reid had swallowed all of two times. Diana looked exhausted. She didn't notice the BAU's arrival. She continued to encourage her son to swallow.

"Come on, baby, you can do it. I know it's hard but you have to eat. Just give it a try.  
Please? For me?" She rubbed his left shoulder.

He did. She smiled brightly. "That's a good boy." She sensed a presence behind her and turned. She smiled at the agents behind her.

"Spencer is going through a catatonic phase." They were all quiet. "You can still come and talk to him, he just won't respond. He won't respond to any outside stimuli."

They formed a circle around their youngest member.

His eyes were the feature that drew their attention. They were like empty vaults- stony and cold. They all flinched a little at that. They all wanted to say something, but were grasping at straws for the words. Diana continued to try and feed her son. She was not oblivious to the agents around her, but chose to ignore them. For a few moments they were all quiet.

Reid's fingers twitched slightly, and it skyrocketed his Mother's hope.

"Spencer? Can you hear me?"

He was still. She sighed deeply. "Everything's going to be okay." The reassurance was more for herself than for her son. She wondered idly how long this would last.

"What do you think will happen to him?" JJ asked.

Diana lifted her head up with a saddened sigh.

"I don't know. It's different for every person."

"Did you go through it?"

Diana nodded. "Yes, I did."

"How long were you out for?" Penelope asked nervously.

"By the time I was able to move again, two months had gone by."

"Two months?" She asked in shock.

"Yes. If Spencer hadn't been there to care for me, I'd probably be dead by now. It's high time for me to repay the favor."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Morgan asked. Diana stared at him pointedly. He backed down almost immediately. "Sorry I asked."

She smiled thinly. "Thank you."

"So, if he's going to be this way for an extended period of time, what are we supposed to do?" The question was geared at Hotch.

He sighed. "There's nothing else we can do but wait."


	14. Wake Up

**"A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them." -Victor Hugo**

Diana continually cared for her ailing child, often sacrificing her own health for his. She had to be constantly reminded to eat and take her medication. She refused to leave her son's side. Spencer was still as ever. His mother read to him constantly, trying to relieve the silence that often blanketed the room.

The team came to visit every day. They told him stories of the cases they solved. At work, his seat at the table remained empty and untouched. His desk collected a thin layer of dust. There was a sense of emptiness around the bullpen.

The days tumbled into one another and they slowly began to take shape. Although Spencer was not there physically, he was always there in spirit. He was mentioned often, and never forgotten.

Spencer never moved a muscle. He heard every word his Mommy and friends said, and was grateful. He was a man blessed with wonderful friends and family. He felt loved. Without that, he would not be able to recover.

How much time had passed, he didn't know, but one day he moved.

Diana held his hand constantly. One sunny day, her son squeezed her hand. Her hope soared.

"Baby? Can you hear me?"

Slowly, he blinked. "Can you squeeze my hand?"

His fingers twitched and clasped her hand. She thought he might cry in happiness.

"There's my baby." She said, kissing his hand. "Can you get up by yourself?"

His mouth opened up a little, and he tried to speak.

"Do you need a drink first?"

He blinked twice. She assumed that was a yes. Slowly, he drank water through a straw. He opened his mouth.

"Momma?"

"Yes, baby?"

"How long was I gone?"

"For about a month."

"Oh..." He frowned. Diana sensed his hesitation.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"I..."

"What is it?"

"I just feel bad..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, honey. It's not your fault. It just happens." He still looked doubtful. "Sweetie, you can't blame yourself for this. You have to let it go, or you'll never move on. Okay?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Good." She kissed his forehead, and then looked at her watch. It was three o'clock. "Are you hungry?"

He shook his head no, and frowned. She knew that look by heart, and went to change him.

He was slightly surprised when she picked him up without warning. He then recognized that this happened every day, but he hadn't realized this until now. He slipped his thumb into his mouth and began to suck nonchalantly as his head found purchase on her shoulder.

When the team came over that afternoon, they were happily surprised to see Spencer listening intently to his Mother's reading. All of them gave him a big hug and shared their thoughts with one another. Spencer was just happy to be back, and spent one last night in his mother's room before going back to work. She coddled and cosseted her baby as much as possible before going to sleep.

When the next morning came, Diana felt depressed. After a month of caring for her baby non stop, it was going to be hard to adjust to days without him. She kept tears out of her eyes as he left her room and went back to the BAU.

Spencer drove the two hour route from the Piedmont Sanitarium to work. To his surprise and delight, his coworkers had all gathered around the table to hold a welcome back party for him in the early hours of the morning. They smiled and laughed together, and suddenly it was if the month long gap between them did not exist at all. It was like folding a piece of paper in half, closing all the distance between the two points.

The morning was interrupted by a case. They all gathered onto the jet and were handed profiles of their latest victims.

"This is Elaine McCormick and Yvette Caulfield. They were found in Prince William Forest Park laying in top of each other under a tree in the shape of a cross."

"That screams religious nut job to me." Said Prentiss, matter-of-factly.

"Do they have anything in common?" Asked JJ.

"They're both prostitutes under the table." Said Garcia through Morgan's iPad. "They hold day jobs as a seamstress and a teacher, respectively. Not very high paying. They both lived in seperate apartments, both in very crappy neighborhoods. From the looks of it, both of them were about to be evicted."

"Sounds like a last ditch attempt for some extra cash." Morgan commented.

"Whoever killed them clearly has some sort of religious motivation toward them. I mean, just look at the way they were killed..." Spencer said, gesturing to the photos. "They were killed like lambs to a slaughter."

"All we're missing is a couple of two by fours for them to be nailed to." Said Prentiss, sarcastically. Hotch shot her a dirty look, but said nothing.

They went to the site and found cautionary tape wrapped near the tree. JJ and Hotch stayed to talk with the Local PD while Morgan and Reid went to examine the bodies. When they got there, Reid noticed something unusual about the tree they were looking at. It would have almost been undetectable on camera.

Carved into the tree were the words "washed in the blood of the lamb".


	15. Decoy

Both girls were brunettes, and both were highly beautiful. Spencer noticed that the unsub cut them specifically in places where they would bleed out quickly, but also gave them 39 lashes on the back and stabbed their hands and feet with nails post-mortem.

"Whoever did this has extensive medical knowledge. The way they were cut down the arm suggests years worth of experience." He observed.

"There are no signs of strangulation, but they both have defensive wounds." JJ and Prentiss approached their bloodied bodies with matching looks of disgust.

"That's disturbing."

"Tell me something I don't know." Morgan commented.

"What can we tell so far?" Rossi said, coming up from the back.

"This guy is clearly a fanatic. He perfectly mimicked the torture of Jesus Christ. The only reason he wouldn't have literally nailed them to a wooden cross because it would have been too obvious." Spencer said, quietly.

"So how did he find the time to scourge them thirty nine times?"

"I guess we'll find out when the coroner's report comes in."

"Right."

The coroners report showed the time of death at two in the morning.

"I don't understand... They couldn't have killed them out in the open like this." Prentiss spoke, quietly.

"They must have killed them somewhere else." Morgan said.

"Yeah, but there are no signs of dragging."

"Maybe they were lifted there by two people." Rossi suggested.

"Were there any fibers found in the skin tissue?" Spencer asked.

"The whip they used was a cat o' nine tails."

"That corresponds with biblical context." Reid confirmed.

"Then the unsub we're looking for is a religious fanatic with a medical background who likely has a partner involved."

"Let's get the word out to the press." Said Hotch.

"I'm on it." JJ said, quickly getting to her office.

"Garcia, can you run a background check on all the religious or medical personnel within a ten mile radius of the park?"

"You got it." She typed quickly on her keyboard. "Ah... There's a nurse named Lacy Daniels who works at a nearby hospital and volunteers as a Sunday school teacher at a local baptist fundamentalist church."

"Sounds like a good start. Prentiss, Rossi, go find this woman and bring her back to interrogation."

"Let's go." Rossi gestured. Emily followed quickly.

"Reid, Morgan, keep building a profile. I'm going to go prepare for the press conference.

"Yes, sir."

About an hour later, Lacy Daniels was brought into the interrogation room. She was a petite woman with light blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She was very feminine looking with her white uniform and ruby red lips.

"Is there some reason why you dragged me here during my shift?" Her southern accent was very thick.

"Miss Daniels, where were you at two in the morning last night?" Asked Rossi.

She gave them an "are-you-kidding-me?" Look. "I was at home, sleeping."

"Can someone correlate that story?"

"I went to bed alone." She deadpanned.

"Do you happen to own a whip of some kind?"

She looked appalled. "Absolutely not! Now what is this about?"

"Two prostitutes were murdered last night."

"And you think I did it?!" Her offense was palpable.

"We're just trying to rule people out."

Prentiss noticed the sparkling of a ring on her left finger.

"Are you married?"

"No, I'm engaged." She huffed.

"Could you tell us a little bit about him?"

"His name is Adam Wheeler and he works for tech support. He's trying to put himself through med school to be a doctor."

"Where did you two meet?"

"At a party at our church."

"Garcia, you heard that right?" Prentiss said into her cell phone.

"Got it. Checking now..." She typed furiously. "Got him! Oh my..."

"What is it?"

"His Dad was in the military from 1984-1999. During his periods of leave his son suffered severe injuries. Broken collarbone, fractured radius, you name it he broke it. Mom was apparently a religious zealot who had child services called in on her for neglect by one of Adam's elementary school teachers, but the charges were eventually dropped. His dad passed away in 2001. When Adam was 15 he ran away for the first time and would do it three more times before turning 18. When he was eighteen he had his mother committed to a sanitarium."

"Is he still in school now?"

"Yes."

"Let's track this guy down."

Prentiss and Morgan went off to get Adam Wheeler from his class at the University Of Virginia School Of Medicine. When they arrived, his class had already ended. When they spoke to the professor, he explained that right after this Wheeler was shadowing another doctor.

Prentiss called Hotch immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hotch, listen. Adam Wheeler is shadowing another doctor right now. His name is doctor Zurich and he works at the Piedmont Sanitarium."

"Okay, thanks." Just then, Penelope got on the line.

"Wait, wait, wait! Someone's streaming a video to me. I'm putting it up on your screen now."

A hooded figure appeared on the screen, and spoke with a voice modulator.

"Greetings, BAU agents. I trust that my little show at the park has spiked your intrest. I assume that by now you have come to the conclusion that Adam Wheeler was the man you were searching for. I can assure you that the boy was a mere tool who had no idea what he was really doing. I'm the one you want. I know that you will find me eventually, but just to be sure I've taken the initiative to provide you with a little... Incentive."

The camera panned to a woman tied up in a chair with duct tape over her mouth. They all gasped, and when someone did talk, it was quiet and meek.

Reid, scared to death, whispered, "Momma?"


	16. Deeper In

There was a long moment of silence. Every eye turned to Reid, who was as still as a rock. All of a sudden, he bolted out of the room while they watched, stunned. Spencer ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. He was thankful that he was alone. The air above him was humid and unbreathable. The room was stifling to him. He took rapid, shallow breaths, trying to calm down and failing.

A few tears came out of his eyes and fell into the toilet. When he was sure it was over, he flushed. He sat there, trying to keep his cool. When he felt he had a grip on his emotions, he went back inside.

His face was ashen and translucent. The circles under his eyes were a deep purple. He felt dazed and confused, and stumbled on his way there with a blank expression on his face. His mind ran into overdrive as he sat down in his chair. They all looked upon him with pity.

"Reid? Do you want to take a minute to calm down?" Asked Morgan, carefully.

"It's not going to do me any good." His head hung low, and he looked like a lost puppy.

"Let's go over what we know." Suggested Hotch. Spencer didn't move, his arm draped languidly over one arm of the chair. "Obviously the guy had connections in the sanitarium." Morgan said, quietly.

"It would have been easy for him to get to her, because her defenses were down." Spencer added. "But I don't understand why he wants my mother in the first place."

"There's clearly some sort of religious connection here, but what?" Asked Rossi.

Spencer flashed back to his mother's times without medication. "The voices..." He whispered.

"Huh?"

"She hears voices, he must think she's possessed or something."

"That certainly fits the profile." Morgan commented.

"So does that mean this guy has a partner?" Prentiss asked.

"Seems likely."

"So how the hell are we supposed to catch this son of a bitch?" Asked Rossi.

"I don't know, but we have to do something fast. That man isn't likely to still give her her medication and she can't exist without it. The medication will stay in her system for another 24 hours before it's gone completely. We have to find her before then." He stressed.

"You know we'll do everything we can." Said JJ.

"She can't be without her medication." His voice was nearly hysterical.

"Calm down, Reid. It won't do your mom any good if you get too worked up. You have to stay focused." Morgan said calmly.

Spencer took in a breath. "You're right."

"So, who else had a motive here?"

"My mom is locked away in a sanitarium, she couldn't have made any enemies in the time she's been there. More so, who would visit her there but me and you guys?"

"Maybe it's someone else who partnered with Wheeler." Hotch said.

"Who else besides doctors and nurses would work there?" JJ asked.

"Lots of people- therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, and..." Spencer trailed off and his eyes grew wide. "Pastors."

Morgan speed dialed Garcia.

"Hello my sweet."

"Garcia, can you pull up a list of all past and present pastors at the piedmont sanitarium?"

"Checking now..." Keyboard clicks filled the silence between them. "There was a pastor named Joseph Abner who got fired about a month ago. Apparently Wheeler worked the same shift as Abner and apparently they spent a lot of time together."

"Okay, thanks baby girl."

"You got it."

Reid grabbed the remote and rewound the tape, looking for any clue as to where his mother was hidden. He paused it when he saw a window with a tree in it. He blew up the image.

"That looks like a red maple tree. They're mostly indigenous to swamp areas, but they also grow in areas with deep slopes."

"What does that mean?" Prentiss questioned.

"They have to have taken her to a cabin or a mountain or somewhere."

"Garcia, did you get all that?" Morgan asked.

"I did, and I'm checking records now." She typed quickly. "It looks like Lacy Daniels owns a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I'm sending you the address now."

"Thanks." Reid said, flipping the phone shut. "Let's go."

A swarm of SUV's surrounded the cabin. Morgan kicked down the door only to find Adam Wheeler unconscious and tied to a chair.

There was a video camera sat in front of him. Carefully, Spencer lifted it up with a latex glove and had Garcia connect it to the TV in the living room, and pressed play.

"Good evening, Dr. Reid. I trust you followed my clue about the red maple tree. I also trust that you found Mr. Wheeler unconscious and unharmed. Before I let you go, your mother has a message for you."

Diana appeared on screen, and Spencer let out an unconscious whine.

"Hi, baby. I just want you to know that I'm okay, and I have a riddle for you:

_This woeful act began with despair__  
__Back when both Mommy and Daddy were there__  
__But when Daddy left the changes did Start__  
__When you were left to gather pieces of my broken heart __  
__Hurt and angry at your apparent betrayal __  
__This ex-friend made me into a holy grail __  
__It is up to you to find me and you must win this war__  
__Or else Mommy won't be coming home anymore."_

Then there was nothing but snow.


	17. Fear

Spencer was unmoving. He was terrified of what would happen if he couldn't solve this riddle. His mind raced to figure out who could have done this. Who did he spurn? He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, listing down the childhood acquaintances he could remember.

When they got to headquarters, Reid ran down to Garcia to have her run background checks on the names he listed. His panic was palpable.

Finally, there was a match. "Brian Galveston lived down the block from you, and volunteers as a worship leader both at the sanitarium and at the same church Adam Wheeler and Joseph Abner attend. He lives in Burkesville Virginia and also works as a Civil War reenactor. I'm sending you the address now."

Reid was the first one out of the room.

They all made the trip to the house to find the front door unlocked. Every room was clear. No one was there. There was, however, a note left on the bed.

_Keep trying, agents._

Reid whipped out his phone. "Garcia, you said the guy was a civil war reenactor, right?"

"Yeah."

"Are there any reenactments going on right now?"

"Yes indeed, there is a reenactment going on at Claytor Lake Park."

"Awesome, thanks."

"Good luck."

Spencer sealed the note into a bag, and moved on.

He was the first one into the car. The drive there was quiet and intense. While they drove, Reid kept trying to figure out where Brian might have taken his mother. If it was a reenactment, there must have been a small cabin somewhere that was made to be a church. When they arrived, Reid went in blindly, searching for a cabin during the battles.

When the fire cleared, he ran like a cheetah to the other side. He found a cabin on a secluded part of the battlefield. He kicked the door in, and saw wooden benches and a pulpit. A man in a black shirt and dress pants with a white collar stood at the pulpit wearing a pair of square glasses. He smiled with glistening eyes.

"Doctor Reid. How nice to see you again."

"Brian Galveston, you're under arrest for the abduction and kidnapping of my Mother."

"Kidnapping? Abduction? Those are very harsh terms, aren't they? I was only trying to help your sick mother. Nobody was going to perform an exorcism on her at the hospital. So, I asked Adam Wheeler and at one point Joseph Abner to help me get your mother into a car. He didn't know what he was doing, and he got me the keys to his fiancée's cabin as a decoy. I merely came her to save your mother from her demonic mind."

"You're no hero." Spencer spat.

"I don't try to be. Only God will decide that."

"What did I do to you to make you do this to my mother?"

"You really don't remember me, do you?"

Spencer said nothing.

"You and I played chess together in the park all the time. You were the last friend I had, and when your father left, you left me too. You always had to take care of your mother. I saw my chance for revenge, and I took it."

"Where is my mother?" He said, trying to calm himself.

"Funny, I figured someone as smart as you would have figured out the game by now." Taunted Brian

"You always wanted to be two steps ahead, but you weren't then and you won't be now."

Rossi and Hotch moved in closer and attempted to move in toward the supposed priest. Spencer was prepared to take his kill shot. Prentiss came in through the door and weaved through the pews. He made no attempt to hide.

They got Brian down and Spencer moved to the one door behind the pulpit.

His terror was paramount. He opened the door and was relieved to see his mother tied up but otherwise unharmed. He immediately went to untie her hands.

"Momma!" She blinked slowly before recognition crossed her face. He untied her hands and arms, before removing the tape that covered her mouth.

She stood up and tried to shake off the feeling of the ropes around her. Spencer latched onto her, too afraid to let go. Diana ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his head gently.

"It's okay, baby." She held him tightly.

Spencer's face crumpled like he wanted to cry, but held himself together by a thread. Diana, on the other hand, had no trouble falling apart. Tears streamed down her face, not because of the trauma she'd been through, but because she was terrified that she would never see her baby again.

They stayed that way for a long time. Spencer ultimately pulled away first.

"Mom, we have to get you back on your meds, now." He said, carefully.

She nodded, knowing fighting him on the subject would be futile. He refused to let go of her hand. He was so afraid. He'd functioned like a machine for much of the time his mother was gone, and now his emotions were taking over. He had the pills in his pocket and tried to find her a cup of water. Relief permeated his soul as she was able to swallow her medication. He sat in the back seat with his mother, who began reciting poems she'd read to him as a small child. Slowly, Spencer began to calm down. He held his mother's hand as she came back to the sanitarium, and as soon as the door behind them shut, Spencer cried.

Diana picked him up and rubbed his back in soothing circles. She hushed him gently and sat him on her lap.

"Mommy's here, baby. Everything's alright."

He sobbed into her shoulder, so scared of losing her.

"Mommy..." he whimpered.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Don't leave." It was a pitiful whine.

"I'm not going anywhere." She reassured him.

"Promise?" It was sad, but slightly hopeful.

"I promise." She whispered in his ear.

In the space of a heartbeat, everything righted itself in the world, and the guilt had no hold over either of them anymore.


	18. Closeness

The weekend was encroaching fast, and both Hotch and Rossi agreed to let Spencer spend the remaining two days with his mother. Heaven knew they'd both suffered enough. Spencer went back to his apartment, packed enough clothes for a week, and took a separate bag with items he wanted for personal entertainment. The Doctor checked both bags and found books, and a smallish teddy bear.

The one thing hidden in the bottom compartment of his bag was plastic and innocuous, and only his mother would see it.

Spencer sat his bags down by the book case, and his mother smiled. She had four whole days with her son. The door closed, and the FBI agent with a gun and badge was reduced to the simple role of being a son. Diana patted the side of her bed, and Spencer sat with her. They were quiet and happy, never speaking.

He laid his head in her lap, and his thumb sneaked into his mouth. Diana stroked his hair fondly.

"How do you feel, baby?"

"Tired." He said, words beginning to slur.

"Well then, it's nap time for you." She said, gently. She laid him on the couch. "Is there anything out of your bag you want to sleep with?" He nodded, and pointed to his entertainment bag. Under the barrel of books was a smaller teddy bear. When she went to put it down, she heard something rattle underneath. Curious, she unloaded the books and shook it. There was something underneath the bottom liner. She found a hole on the very edge of the liner, and went on to dig through to find the object. Her fingers wrapped around something plastic. She pulled it out and found that it was a pacifier.

She was genuinely surprised to find it in his possession. She had never thought that he would ever purchase one, considering that he could merely suck his thumb instead. It was cheaper and more convenient. Nonetheless she said nothing and handed him the stuffed bear and slipped the pacifier into his mouth. She could see him smiling as he shut his eyes and listened to him suckle contentedly. She threw a blanket over him and tucked him in lovingly.

She sat on the bed and watched her son sleep for a long time.

Spencer cuddled the soft fur of his teddy bear as he drifted off to sleep. After all the terror he'd been through, he felt safe at last. He felt his mother's watchful eyes upon him, and knew he had nothing to fear. His mother kissed his forehead just as he toed the line between consciousness and sleep.

Diana smiled at the innocent scene left before her. All her life are had dreamed of a child, and Spencer had been the answer to her prayers. Every aspiring mother dreamt of a baby, not the adult they would become someday. Somehow, she had gotten both. She considered herself blessed for that. She knew other people would consider it strange, but her life was strange enough as it was. She had already hit rock bottom- there was nowhere left to go but up.

She pulled a book from her shelf and began to read, quickly getting lost in the work of Victor Hugo. She didn't realize the amount of time passing by. Two and a half hours passed. Just as Diana finished her book, Spencer started to stir. She happily shut the book and returned it to it's spot on the shelf. She knelt down by the couch and began stroking his hair softly. Slowly, Spencer's eyes opened sleepily, and he smiled. She kissed his forehead.

"Hi, baby." Spencer reached out his arms to her, wanting to be held. She happily obliged him and laid him on her lap, humming to him gently. It gave him some time to wake up properly. Spencer just snuggled happily with her. Diana picked him up and settled him on her hip. He wrapped his arms around her neck, a little frightened as to where they were going. He was relieved to find that she was only taking him to the bathroom for a change. That was when he noticed he needed a change and squirmed uncomfortably with a slight whimper. She laid him down and began changing him while Spencer mindlessly sucked on his pacifier. He looked around, pretending that it was the first time he'd seen the bathroom, and tried to capture the feeling of childlike wonder that came with seeing something new. He made soft cooing noises and started to babble in gibberish. Diana just smiled and picked him up. She showered him with kisses and adoration, but felt thrown off when he started to cry.

His face turned red as he started to wail. He kept one arm around her neck and stretched the other one forward. When she followed his gaze she realized he had dropped his teddy bear on the floor. She picked it up and handed it to him, and his crying stopped almost instantaneously. He cuddled the toy close to him and used it's fur to wipe his tears away. Diana tried to hide a half smile. When he had been very little, he had had a blue blanket that had gone everywhere with him. It had gotten torn up and very dirty because he had never let her wash it. She actually had it stored in a box in her closet here. She sat Spencer on the bed and went to get it from the box while Spencer whimpered, confused.

"It's okay, baby. Mommy just wants to get out something for you." Although he never fully stopped whimpering, Spencer was intrigued. Diana opened the box that held photo albums and much of her son's childhood memories inside of it. The blanket was at the very bottom, cushioning the rest of the the items in there.

She pulled the blanket out in a way that blocked Spencer's view of it. She shut the box, put it away and turned around. Spencer was quiet when he saw it, trying to figure out where he'd seen it before.

"Do you remember your blankie?" A flash of recognition crossed his face, and he smiled. She handed it to him, and he rubbed it against his cheek. He remembered moments with it in snatches.

"You used to take it with you everywhere when you were little. I could never get it away from you long enough to wash it." He smiled and nodded. He thought he could remember that. She sat and put him in her lap and wrapped her arms around him.

"When you were around three or four, you were scared of the dark. So sometimes you'd come into my room in the middle of the night and ask if you could sleep in my bed. I never let you, but I always sprayed your blanket with my favorite perfume to keep you calm. I'd tuck you back in, and I'd sing to you:

_All night, all day, angels watching over me my Lord  
All night, all day angels watching over me.  
When at night I go to sleep  
Angels watching over me my Lord  
Pray the Lord my soul to keep  
Angels watching over me.  
All night, all day, angels watching over me, my Lord  
All night, all day, angels watching over me."_

He smiled, remembering the song that had been long buried in his subconscious.

He took the pacifier out and whispered, "I remember that."

Diana hugged her son tightly. It was wonderful to have that feeling of closeness with him. She didn't know how much both of them needed it.


	19. Strengthening Bonds

Penelope Garcia had a window open on her computer streaming her live footage of Spencer and his Mother. She had sworn herself to be the guardian angel over the pair of them. She smiled at their interaction, and still did her job successfully.

Spencer snuggled into his mother, cheeks pink with happiness. Diana was thrilled to be close with her son, and bounced him gently up and down in her arms. Spencer hid his face in his mother's neck, giggling. He still had his blanket and bear in his grip. They hadn't moved for a long stretch of time. Diana was secretly pleased that he was being so clingy. It made up for all the years, months, weeks, hours, and minutes that they had been apart.

For Spencer, the regression from adult to infant was easy and fulfilling. He felt the close proximity of his mother that made him feel more secure. He knew he was safe. He took his head out from her neck and cuddled with his comfort objects while Diana looked on lovingly. She gently laid him on her bed and promised to be right back. Spencer whimpered, used to being held and loved (and a little spoiled with it...) but for the most part was patient.

Diana went to the bathroom and took her medication. She picked up lunch and made sure to pick up something malleable for her son. She mashed up cantaloupe, watermelon, and strawberries in a paper bowl and went to sit Spencer down to feed him lunch. He begrudgingly set his pacifier down and watched his mother roam around the room to get ready for lunch. She sat him up at her desk and tied a makeshift bib out of an old sweater around his neck just in case he made a mess, and fed him while eating a garden burger. As predicted, Spencer was slightly messy. Diana even joked that he got more on him than in him, and they both shared a laugh.

She took more time eating than he did, and sat him on the floor to play while she finished. She kept a close eye on him. He still clung to the bottom of her cardigan. When she finished and threw her trash away, she settled him back onto the bed with her. She laid him across her lap and fed him a bottle after lunch, humming softly in hopes of relaxing him further. When he was done, she offered him his pacifier, which he eagerly accepted. She pulled his bag full of books up onto the bed and had him pick one. She opened the book and started reading him "A Tale Of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens while he listened in rapture.

Some time after the reading began, Spencer squirmed in his seat and started to whimper in discomfort. Diana picked him up like he weighed nothing and carried him to the bathroom where she changed his wet and dirty diaper. She decided to give him a bath before putting a fresh diaper on him. Spencer didn't necessarily like the idea of a bath, but feeling as dirty as he did, it didn't seem like a bad option. Diana was happy to do so. Having her son nearby lifted the burden of her illness. She felt more alive than she had in years. It brought back memories of bathing him as a small child. When she finally settled him in, she got out a small plastic duck from out of the shower caddy and handed it to him. It had always been his favorite bath toy.

When he saw the duck, Spencer smiled and reached for it. He squeezed it under water and then had it float atop the water for a bit before flipping it over, revealing a tiny hole, and watched water squirt out of it. While her son amused himself, Diana went to work washing his hair. She was glad the pacifier had stayed in his mouth. She had often worried that if he started sucking his thumb in the bath that he would taste soap. Now, she had no reason to worry.

Faster than he thought, the bath was over. Mommy wrapped a towel around him and got out clothes for him to wear. She changed him, dressed him, and finally carried him back into her room.

"What do you want to do now, baby?" She asked, brushing a lock of hair out of his eyes. He was quiet, thinking deeply.

"Draw?" He asked innocently.

"That's a great idea." She said, smiling. She gave him some paper and a pen, and used a book as a hard surface. He propped himself up on his mother's bed, legs spread apart as he drew. Diana sat nearby, nose buried in a book, continually checking on her son, even though he was right by her. When he was finished, he smiled proudly. She noticed the sound of the pen against the hard cover had stopped, and looked up.

"Did you finish?" She asked, sweetly. He nodded happily.

"Can Mommy see?" Spencer nodded and held out the picture excitedly. It was a drawing of a beach with sand, water, and a sun in the corner of the paper. She grinned.

"That's so pretty!" She exclaimed, giving him a big hug and kissing his forehead. His sense of pride was bolstered. "Good job! I'm so proud of you!"

He pulled his pacifier out and held the picture out to her. "For you, Mommy."

Diana's heart melted. "Thank you, sweetheart." She felt her eyes welling up with proud tears. She would find a way to put it up on her wall. Spencer picked up on a change in the wind, saw his mother's teary eyes, and frowned. When one leaked down her cheek, Spencer wiped it away with a finger.

"No cry, Mommy." He said, worried. She smiled at his concern.

"It's okay, baby. They're happy tears." She stroked his cheek.

Dinner approached quickly, and Diana sectioned off a plate for her son. Mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, and flaky fish, along with a small cup of soup. She fed him in the same way she had at lunch. He happily complied.

As the hours wound down, bedtime came closer. Diana put a night diaper and footed sleeper on him as it came close. Spencer began yawning, and Diana gave him his blanket and bear to cuddle with. She made sure the little blue pacifier was in her son's mouth when she read him a bedtime story. Slowly, his eyes began to droop. By the time the story was done, he was almost completely asleep. She gently laid him down and tucked him into bed. She kissed his forehead tenderly.

"Goodnight, baby. Mommy loves you."

"Night-night Mommy." Came the slurred reply. She flipped the lights off. Even in the darkness, she saw the outline of her child's sleeping form. It was that image that helped her fall asleep that night.


	20. Senses

A loud bang woke Spencer Reid from a dead sleep, and he shot up in bed. He watched lightning strike outside the window and heard rain falling on the roof. Tears welled up in his eyes quickly. Thunder had always scared him. He had never liked loud noises. Even with his job he still hated gunfire. He began to whimper as the thunder continued, and felt himself starting to wet.

Diana Reid may have been afflicted with many an illness, but her maternal instincts were as sharp as ever. Her dreams had quickly dissipated when a silent alarm went off in her head, telling her to wake up. She opened her eyes to blackness. Her ears first focused on the rain, but then heard sobbing that made her sit up straight. She pulled off her warm covers and made her way over to the couch where her son sat sobbing.

"Spencer?" She asked quietly. She got a wail in reply. She went over to him and gently stroked his hair. He flinched at first, which made her heart drop into her stomach. "It's okay, baby. I'm here."

"Mommy..." He sobbed, wrapping his arms around her neck. Diana picked up her son.

"Shhhh... It's alright. You're okay. Mommy's got you." She whispered, bouncing him gently up and down. Her baby continued to whimper, still afraid.

"Do you need a change, sweetheart?" She asked sweetly. Spencer nodded as he wiped an eye with the back of his hand and sniffled sadly.

"Okay baby. Let's get you into a fresh diaper."

The air was cold against his skin as the sleeper was removed from his body. Diana quickly changed him out of his diaper, and his unconscious crying lessened.

Diana rushed to get him back into his pajamas. The crying never completely stopped. She gathered him up in her arms when it was done. She flicked on the light switch of the room and found his pacifier on the floor. She picked it up and offered it to him. He still cried, a line of drool coming out of his mouth. Diana sat on the bed with her son in her lap as he wept. She rubbed his back gently, trying to calm him. Big, fat tears rolled down his cheeks, and she kissed them away. Thunder roared and Spencer started to shake.

"It's just thunder, honey. It can't hurt you." She soothed.

Logically, Spencer knew she was right, but logic was out the window at that point. Lightning flashed at the window, lighting up his frightened face. Diana squeezed him tighter. "I'm right here, baby."

Despite the reassurance, he wailed. All of his emotional control was gone.

Diana decided to carry him into the bathroom and sat him on the counter. She grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet and wiped the drool from his mouth. She submerged it in warm water and cleaned his face off delicately with it. Spencer leaned his head into her stomach with a sad sigh. "I don't like it." He whined.

"I know. It's just nature. A little weather won't hurt you." She said, cupping his face in her hands and lifting his chin up.

He said nothing, still afraid. "It's okay to be scared." He avoided eye contact with her, still feeling ashamed of his fear. His mother sighed, and picked him up.

"What can Mommy do to make you feel better?" She asked in her higher voice. She bounced him up and down a little. He tried to hide a hint of a smile, and failed. He clung to her pajama top, unsure of what to say or do. She walked around with him attached to her hip, hoping to calm him down a little.

She remembered doing it often when he was two or three years old. He would be up in the middle of the night, sobbing about something, and she'd hold him or walk around with him until he wasn't afraid anymore.

She talk to him, sing to him, or read to him to make him feel better. Then she'd sit on the bed and rock him until he spoke. Spencer didn't remember that pattern, but still derived comfort from it. Diana carried him to her window.

"Spencer," she said quietly. "Look out the window." He did so, and waited.

Lightning danced across the sky. Instead of being scary, it was beautiful. He watched it from the safety of his mother's lap, and suddenly wasn't afraid. It looked like a painting, striking the sky with color and light. The thunder rolled again, but somehow it reminded him of waves crashing over onto the shore. It seemed more gentle. It was the difference between a pair of bongos being played and a set of rock drums being pounded. One was much less startling than the other.

His trembling ceased and he watched the show with silent wonder. Diana smiled and kissed his head.

"Tank you, Mommy. 'M not scared anymore." He said leaning against her sleepily. She stroked his head as he fell asleep with a small smile on his face. She tucked him back into bed and let the sound of the thunder sing her to sleep.


	21. The Sand Of Time

When Diana woke up, her anxiety was through the roof. There was no reason for it- in fact, she had every reason to be serene. Her son was right there with her, and he was happy. Her chest was filled with that tightening feeling of foreboding that came with every bad day she experienced. She felt like a chicken with her head cut off. The feeling of her life spiraling out of control was constant. A tremor coursed through her involuntarily. While she was still lucid, she found her doctor and gave him a heads up on her condition. He appeased her with a tablet of klonopin for her anxiety, on top of her usual medications. She vowed to not let her condition ruin the precious time she had with her son. She shuffled her way back to her room in her pink robe and matching slippers. Sunlight streamed through the small window as she sat down on her bed, leaving no sign of last night's storm in it's wake. A quick glance at the clock told her that it was only 7:30 in the morning. She sighed deeply, knowing that she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Instead, she took a few books from her shelf and started to read.

Despite the comfort reading old treasured books provided, Diana's paranoia began to seep through the tough front she had constructed for herself. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing straight up. She tried to push the feeling aside and calm down, but the emotion lingered. She tried to get lost in the book, but failed. It only heightened her agitation. She stopped reading when her son stirred. It reminded her of the duty she had to her baby. She promised herself that she wouldn't let this bad day effect Spencer too.

Diana stood up and loomed over him in a protective manner. Slowly, he opened his eyes to the blurred image of his Mother and smiled. She reciprocated immediately, showing no signs of her impending psychosis.

"Good morning." She said, sweetly. Spencer reached up for her, and she picked him up and gave him a kiss. "Did you sleep alright?" He nodded.

"Good. Let's get you changed." With one arm around his mother's neck, and the other holding his beloved teddy bear, Diana carried him to the bathroom. While she changed him, Spencer tried to clear the cobwebs from his brain and wake up properly. He stretched his arms out and finally opened his eyes all the way. Mommy picked him up and gave him a loving squeeze.

"What do you want to do now, baby?" Spencer thought about it before taking his  
pacifier out.

"Hungry." He said in a high pitched voice.

"Let's get you some breakfast, then." Spencer nodded before putting his pacifier back into his mouth. Diana arranged for breakfast to be brought in for the both of them. Oatmeal, yogurt, and some mashed fruit was served to Spencer, while his mother ate a pear, some toast, and cereal. After breakfast was done, Diana laid Spencer across her lap and fed him his first bottle of the day.

While her son suckled on his bottle, Diana fought against the invisible terror that was rising up inside her. She kept her mouth shut as tightly as possible, and hoped that her son wouldn't notice. She focused on the warm weight of her child laying in her arms. She steeled herself against the emotion knocking against her heart, and tried to keep a straight face.

Spencer felt invisible signs being emitted from his mother. He knew she was downplaying her condition more than she led on. He pretended to be oblivious to make her feel better. He remained relaxed, but was now alerted to the subtle indicators of what could be a very bad day for Mommy.

He finished the bottle and lay in her lap, content. Diana unconsciously rubbed his arm. She was quick to replace the nipple of the bottle with the equally soothing rubber end of his pacifier. Spencer reached up and wrapped his arms around her neck, and she helped him sit up. He leaned against her shoulder tiredly. Diana stroked his hair lovingly.

"Are you still tired, baby?"

Reid nodded, pressing his face into her shoulder.

"I sleepy."

"You can go back to sleep if you want to, honey." She kissed his head sweetly.

He nodded and closed his eyes.

The members of the BAU were flying back home after solving a particularly disturbing case in Nashville. Garcia popped up on their televisions and tablets.

"Hello my sweets." She said, happily.

"Hey baby girl, what's up?" Morgan said, smiling.

"I know it's been a long day, so I figured you might like to see something more uplifting."

"Such as?" Rossi asked, intrigued.

She smiled and pulled up the video feed from the Piedmont Sanitarium.

Spencer was sleeping in his mother's arms, face turned away from the camera. Diana was leaning against the back wall, her head leaning on top of her son's.

All of them smiled, wether consciously or not. Morgan gave an approving nod.

"Thanks, Garcia." Said Hotch. The scene reminded him of his own son, and made a mental note to spend quality time with Jack when he got home.

Penelope smiled, and then went off the screen.

The video feed cut off, and they all shared a grin.

Diana woke up with her paranoia at it's peak. The government was watching them, and she could feel it. Her hold on her son tightened.

Her instincts when it came to her son were never wrong. When he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel, Diana knew something was wrong. He was hungry, tired, dirty, and hurting. She had begged and pleaded to call him, but the doctors and nurses had forbade it, writing it off as a schizophrenic episode. She had struggled against the nurses, and screamed "My baby!" Over and over again until she was sedated.

When he was released from his prison, he flew to see his Mother. With a single look, Diana knew everything. He went over to her and she held onto him for dear life. She coddled him as he fell apart, as he went through withdrawal from the dilaudid. Spencer simply laid his head in her lap as she hushed him and kissed him lovingly.

She was reminded every day that underneath all of the layers of intelligence and bravado was a little boy who was still sensitive and afraid of the world. He wanted her nurturing more than he let on. Age had nothing to do with it. No matter how old he got, he knew he would always need her.

Spencer snuggled deeper into his mother while he slept, and despite her paranoia, she smiled. She kissed his head, and watched him smile. Diana sighed and looked at him.

"I love you so much, sweetheart. I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished. We may not have the most conventional relationship, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You really have made something of yourself in the eyes of the world. But I hope you know that no matter what you do or where you go, you'll always be my baby boy."

As if assuring her of this fact, Spencer unconsciously put an arm over her shoulder. Diana simply smiled.


	22. Two Can Keep A Secret

When Spencer woke up, he was pleased to find himself in his mother's gentle embrace. She was gently patting his arm in a reassuring fashion. When he looked up, however, the look on her face told him that she was trying to downplay a psychotic episode. He kept his breathing as even as possible, trying to not let her know he was up. His worry manifested itself as a knot in his stomach.

However, Diana already knew he was up. It was the bizarre sixth sense that came with motherhood.

"I know you're awake, honey." She said, looking off into the distance. Spencer's cheeks flushed red.

"Are you okay?" He asked, carefully. She smiled and looked down at him.

"I'm fine." Spencer pursed his lips, knowing she wasn't telling the truth. Diana just cuddled him, and he happily reciprocated. His mother, however, sensed his displeasure and gave him a kiss.

"Are you sure?" He pressed, anxiously. She smiled and caressed his cheek.

"I'm sure." He smiled at her, and she mirrored the expression.

"Do you need a change?" Spencer shook his head no. "Okay. Can you wait here for a few minutes for me?" He nodded.

Diana went to the bathroom while Spencer looked around, trying to lift the foggy feeling from his brain. He squeezed the teddy bear in his hand to his chest and made a happy noise. He felt relaxed and well rested.

It would be short lived.

Diana splashed some cold water onto her face, holding herself together by a thread. Tomorrow was the day she dreaded the most out of the whole year. On that day her nerves would get so bad that that had become the one day out of the year her husband would come and visit her, just so she wouldn't face it alone.

For all his life, Spencer had been aware of one day of the year that his Mother was unreachable. He was very aware that the day was coming. He had never known the reason for her distress, and had been too timid to ask. He was so afraid of upsetting her and triggering an episode. He decided to finally indulge his curiosity.

When Diana finally reemerged, Spencer was looking up at her innocently.

"Mommy?"

"What, baby?"

"How come you get sad when tomorrow comes every year?"

The words had a physical impact on her, and she flinched while sighing deeply. "I knew you'd ask me that question someday." She sat on the bed. "Come here, sweetheart. Sit with Mommy."

He obeyed and looked at her with shining eyes. "Oh baby, I hoped this day would never come, but I knew it would eventually. The first thing you ought to know is that Daddy's coming to see me tomorrow." Spencer shot up like a weed.

"How come?" He cocked his head to one side. Diana took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions.

"I was pregnant once before I had you. Daddy and I were so excited- we could hardly wait." She shut her eyes, trying to keep the memories at bay. "I was three months into my pregnancy when it happened. I was in the middle of teaching when this awful pain went through my stomach. I waited until the class was over to go to the hospital. There was blood all over my legs. I had never been more terrified in all my life. Your father got there not long after and we found out that the baby was gone. We were devastated. I thought we'd never be happy again. I was so scared to try for another baby, but we got lucky. I was so blessed to have you."

At that point, Diana had unwillingly started to cry. Spencer felt guilt wash over him like an ocean, and felt his lip starting to quiver. They were both crying, and Diana pressed her son to her chest protectively.

"It's okay, honey. I don't want you to be sad. This isn't your cross to bear."

Spencer sniffed, but said nothing. Unconsciously, he clutched his bear closer to him. Diana decided to use it to shift the subject.

"You never told me your Teddy's name." She admonished gently. She ran her fingers through his hair, hoping to calm him down. Her son said nothing, concentrating on the sucking motion of his mouth to lower his heart rate. Finally, he took the pacifier out.

"He doesn't have a name."

"Really?" Diana didn't conceal her surprise. He nodded. "Are you going to name him?"

"I don't know..."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to." He looked at the Carmel color of the bear's fur and the black beady eyes. "Jeff. His name is Jeff." He said, with an air of finality.

"Well hello, Jeff." She said, shaking the bear's hand. Spencer giggled. Diana grinned and kissed the crown of her son's head.

The day passed all too quickly for Diana's taste, and soon it was time for bed. She tucked Spencer in and gave him a kiss before climbing into her own bed. Her eyes were riveted on the clock by her bed, and only after the stroke of midnight was she able to sleep at last.

Spencer, meanwhile, was still wide awake. His father was coming tomorrow, and he wasn't too sure how he felt about it. A part of him was still angry that he left, but now that he understood why he had in full, the once raging fire of anger that consumed a forest had been reduced to a gas fire that helped water boil. The constant thought that replayed itself over and over again was _will he like me?_ He knew it was a frivolous and somewhat stupid question, but it wouldn't let him be. Although he hated to admit it, he wanted his father's approval. Deep inside, there was a little boy who still wondered if he was a part of the reason that his father had left in the first place.

He fell asleep some time later, desperately clinging to the hope that the next day wouldn't be one that he would end up regretting.


	23. From Past To Present

Diana woke up in the wee hours of the morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. She watched the sun rise in her pink bathrobe, anxious about the day to come. She fiddled with one of the buttons on her pajamas, unconsciously trying to calm her nerves. She looked over at her son. The rays of early morning sun shone on her son's face. His expression was surprisingly peaceful considering the day ahead. The only sound was the sound of Spencer sucking rhythmically on his pacifier. She ate her breakfast early and then situated herself at the end of her bed, keeping silent vigil over her son.

A nurse came in and quietly let her know that William's plane had landed safely and that he was on his way. The statement made Diana's chest tighten, and she tried (and failed) to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was eight thirty in the morning. That meant he would probably be there by nine. She seriously contemplated waking her son, but decided against it. He would need all the rest he could get. Circumstance indicated that it would be an emotionally taxing day.

She wondered if she should tell William about Spencer. This part of his life was so all-encompassing that it seemed almost impossible to avoid. She hoped that Spencer would be brave enough to express the vulnerability that she had been privileged to witness. Right now it was anyone's game. She jumped into the shower and dressed as quickly as she could, still careful not to wake her son. She tactfully went outside of her room to wait for her husband.

William Reid arrived precisely at nine in the morning. Sporting a well-tailored suit even though he was spending the day in a mental facility, he had a certain presence about him that was difficult to ignore. Diana felt it the moment he entered the room. He spied her across the room and they shared a small smile. Despite their differences, they always managed to keep their interaction civil. They gave each other a hug, and she led him to the cafeteria so they could chat privately. Diana poured herself a cup of hot tea while William doctored his coffee with cream and sugar. When they sat together, it was an action that felt as old as time.

"How have you been doing, Diane?" He asked. It was the obligatory question that never failed to have an interesting answer.

"I've been doing well on the new medication they've been giving me. There are still bad days, but for the most part it's been good. How's work?"

"Same as ever. Some things never change." He took a sip of coffee, while Diana studied her tea, trying to figure out how to explain her relationship with their son. William sensed something was bothering her, aside from the usual grief that the day heralded. "What is it, Diane?"

Diana looked him in the eye, and rested her chin on the back of her hand, searching for the right words. She smiled weakly, and took in a deep breath.

"I'm trying to figure out how to word this correctly. It's... Difficult to describe accurately." He waited patiently for her to continue, very careful not to press her for information. "You remember that Spencer used to suck his thumb, right?" The corners of William's mouth tipped up slightly into a smile.

"I do."

"He never really gave it up." She paused, giving him a chance to work through what she said. He seemed unsurprised. If he was, he hid it well. "He's here for the rest of the weekend and I'm sorry to say that he has inherited my illness." Diana made no attempt to hide the guilt in her voice. William sighed, the only visible indicator of his disappointment was the closing of his eyes accompanied with a small nod.

"Okay."

"He has relied on that habit for security and his regression has increasingly gotten worse."

"How do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"A few years ago he developed a condition that has made him incontinent." She decided to break it to him one piece at a time. William only blinked in surprise.

"Alright." There was no way to know the true barometer of his emotions, so she continued.

"I change him when he visits here." William said nothing, and kept his expression blank. She gave it a moment to sink in before continuing.

"He has a bear that goes everywhere with him, along with the blanket he had as a baby." He shrugged it off, but Diana knew an invisible flag had gone off in his head.

"He likes wearing footed sleepers and he bought himself a pacifier. He loves it when I feed him meals, and bottles of milk. He makes me so proud. I really have the best of both worlds. I have my brilliant son who saves people every day, and I have my baby. I know it's strange, but I've never felt more fulfilled as a mother than I have now." By the last sentence, she wiped a happy tear away. "I know he'll try and downplay it, but I know Spencer wants your approval. I don't want him to feel ashamed because of the way he acts. I'm asking you to try and keep an open mind when you see him. Can you do that for me?"

William, hyperaware of the seriousness of what Diana was saying, nodded solemnly. "I can try." He put a hand on hers and smiled at her. It was a small gesture, but it was the most supported Diana had felt in a long time. She gave a wan smile in return.

"Thank you." She whispered. He nodded. A buried instinct told her that Spencer was awake. "We should get back to my room. I don't want Spencer to worry." William nodded and followed her.

Spencer woke up and whimpered. Some obscure instinct told him that his mother wasn't there. He had opened his eyes to the feeling of worry that stirred in his stomach. He was wet, tired, and hungry. He curled up tighter around his bear. He could feel tears coming down his cheeks. His anxiety was high, and he felt his heart pounding inside his chest. He heard footsteps coming to the door, and didn't move, afraid.

Diana entered and looked down at her son, saddened by his fear. She knelt in front of him and stroked his hair gently.

"Good morning, sweetheart." She said, softly, not wanting to frighten him further. Spencer moved his arms to look at her. "It's okay, baby."

He reached a shaking hand up to her and she squeezed it reassuringly.

"Are you ready to get up?" She crooned. He nodded, smiling. "Alright, let's get you changed." She picked up her son and took him to the bathroom as he laid his head on her shoulder tiredly. He didn't see William standing in the doorway.

William watched the interaction between his wife and son, and was surprised to find old feelings trying to break through the layers of granite he'd laid over his emotions.

Some time after he'd left his family, he had been sitting at his desk between appointments when he'd felt it. The itch of dissatisfaction with his life. He didn't really understand what it was until a few weeks later. He missed his family. He wondered about what happened to them constantly. Only by his own research did he see the growth his son had made.

Now, watching them interact, he realized how much he regretted his choice to leave. He loved his work, but it didn't replace the love of a family. He wondered idly if they had the capacity to forgive him for what he'd done. He saw this as a chance to become the father he wished he'd been in the first place. When Diana came back in with Spencer he smiled at them. When Spencer busied himself with a book, he pulled Diana aside and fished for the words that eluded him.

"I'm so sorry." Diana looked up at him, surprised. "I shouldn't have left. It took me years to figure out that I missed out on two of the best things I ever did with my life. I know it can't make up for it, but I want to start over if you and Spencer will let me. I don't deserve it, but I'm asking you for a second chance. I'm not the weak man I was when I left you both. I've made a change. If nothing else, I just want to know if you can forgive me."

Diana looked at him with shining eyes. "The past is in the past. I spent years thinking over everything that happened between us, and I want you to know that I forgave you a long time ago. I didn't want to carry all of that anger forever." She shook her head. He lifted her chin up with one hand.

"Do you still love me?"

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" She said, solemnly.

"I never really got over you." It was direct, and caught Diana by surprise. Her expression softened, and she gave him a thin smile.

"I remember that voice. You're still as suave as the day I met you." She said in mock chastisement. Her expression became slightly more serious.

"I was so busy with Spencer that I never really got back out there. Even if I did I don't think anyone else would accept my condition..." She looked down and played with the cuff of her sleeve with an exasperated sigh. William took the sides of her face in his hands, and they shared eye contact that lasted seconds. Before either of them knew what was happening, they shared their first kiss in over seventeen years.


	24. Forgiveness

**A/N: Thank you for reviewing! Please keep doing it! They give me the motivation to keep writing! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

Spencer saw their kiss through the small door window and was genuinely shocked. Even when he was a child and they were still together, they rarely showed affection. He stopped reading his book and stopped sucking on his pacifier. For a moment, he was totally motionless.

Emotions flew by so quickly that he couldn't identify one by name. The inner volcano of anger at his father was capped, yet still ready to erupt at any moment. It was like lighting fire to an iceberg. They neutralized each other. Should he be angry? Or should he accept what was out of his control? Whatever happened when his parents reentered the room would set the pace for that.

Diana and William looked at each other as if it was the first time they'd really seen one another. The air between them was electric with the connection they had together. For a moment, they enjoyed the feeling that the kiss left behind. Diana was the first to speak.

"What does this mean?" It was blunt and straightforward.

"That depends on what you want it to mean."

"What are you willing to do in response to this?" She specified.

"Do you want to try and patch things up?"

She thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yes."

"Do you want me to come here?" The question surprised her.

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"That's not what I asked."

Diana sighed. "I would feel better if you were here. If something happened to Spencer and I couldn't be there, I would like you to be."

"I'll try and find a firm nearby, then."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've missed out on over seventeen years of time with my family. I'm not going to miss anymore." He said, firmly.

"Well then, let's go see our son." She gestured to the door and he followed her inside. Spencer looked at them with a vapid expression. Diana picked him up and gave him a cuddle.

"Are you hungry?" William recognized the high pitch of her voice. It was a tone she'd used when he was a very little boy. He nodded, still wary of his father's presence. She ordered breakfast for him before sitting him in her lap for a serious talk.

"Spencer, the two of us want to talk to you." She said. She knew she had to approach this carefully. He looked at her with innocent eyes. "Mommy and Daddy have been talking and we want to speak with you about it. Is that okay?"

He nodded, curious. William took the opportunity to start. "Spencer, I wanted to apologize to you. It took me a long time to realize that I had made a huge mistake choosing work over family. By the time I did I felt ashamed for what I'd done. I felt like I didn't deserve to come back after everything that happened. But I want you to know that there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you and Mommy. I was too much of a coward to come back then, but I'm here now. I missed so much of your life already, and I don't want to miss anymore. I know I haven't earned a second chance, and I understand if you can't forgive me for what I've done, but I want the opportunity to be the father I never was to you. I want to know about you and your life. The way I've lived my life so far hasn't been working, so I have to learn a different way. I'm going to move here as soon as I can so that I can be closer to you both. I just want to know if you're able to give me a chance. If you want me to go, I'll go without a fight. The decision is yours."

Spencer was completely still. His shock was paramount. He took his time and worked through everything his Father said. He knew that what he'd said was honest- the benefit of being a profiler. He made his decision.

For the first time in years, he reached up to his father and gave him a hug.

For William, it was the first step toward healing their relationship. He was more than happy to reciprocate. They shared a look, and Spencer smiled. Diana, touched by the scene before her, let a few tears run down her cheeks. She hugged both of them. It was the first thing they'd done as a family.

Shortly after, Spencer stiffened. Diana's instincts went into overdrive.

"Spencer, have you taken your medication today?"

He shook his head no, and started to become afraid.

"Where did you put your pills, baby?"

He pointed to his bag. She set him on the bed and went to get them. She filled a paper cup with water and gave him the pills. She held his pacifier while he took them. When he was done, she held onto him, trying to calm his fear. William put a hand on his shoulder. Minutes passed, and finally he relaxed.

"Are you okay now?" She asked, carefully. He nodded. They both gave him a supportive squeeze. A nurse came in with a bowl of oatmeal, and Diana was quick to thank her and take it.

"It's breakfast time." She said, smiling. She pulled out the Desk chair and got the sweater they used for a bib. Spencer sat in his seat, with Jeff the bear in hand.

"Do you want to put Jeff down? You don't want to get food on him, do you?" Diana asked. He considered it, and reluctantly set him on the floor. Diana tied the sweater around his neck and started feeding him his oatmeal. William just watched, studying the interesting dynamic between them.

Diana had always been a good mother, but had mostly faded into the woodwork of her daily routine. Now she shined. Her eyes were alive and joyous, and her smile was brighter. She had hit her stride, despite her illness. He could feel the pride she felt in her son. It made her radiant.

Spencer, on his part, was incredibly happy. He was messy with his oatmeal, despite being a very organized person. He didn't seem to mind. William could see that he was being completely himself at that moment. His inner child, so long denied him because of his genius, had put his foot down and was finally being tended to. As a father, all he could do was smile. He went over to the both of them and sat next to his son.

Spencer could tell that his father was trying, and that meant the world to him. He smiled, some oatmeal dribbling from his mouth, and reached for his father's hand. They held hands just as Diana finished feeding him, and they enjoyed a moment of family time. Their time together had started forming strong bonds between the three of them. Slowly, they took steps toward better communication and started showing more affection to one another.

Diana and William began holding hands and hugging, occasionally even sharing chaste kisses. It sent Spencer a very powerful message, and he began the tedious process of forgiving his father. He started to let his guard down and let his father get to know this side of his personality. Slowly, he started to trust him more and more.

By the time nap time approached, Spencer had both of his parents to read to him and tuck him in.

As Spencer slept, the moment his Mother had dreaded the most had come.

Diana sat at the edge of her bed, mind replaying that terrible moment over and over again.

_The nurse and doctor had come up to the both of them with matching looks of sympathy. She had known instantly, and tears had filled her eyes._

_"I'm sorry, Mrs. Reid." Came the quiet condolence._

_Diana shut her eyes as the pain shot through her heart like a knife. It made her chest physically hurt. William had looked down at his wife and squeezed her hand tightly as the reality of the situation began to crash down on him. He pulled up a chair next to her as she started to break down. He bowed his head as a few tears of his own came forth. In that moment, he had never felt such a loss of power and control. They were all they had at that point, and both were frantic to try and build over the hurt. Only by working through their grief, however, did they finally accept their loss._

Despite that, the pain was still fresh, even after twenty years.

William put his arm around his wife, trying to build her up in her time of need. She lay her head on his shoulder, and they took time to grieve for the child they lost, and still gave thanks for the child they had.


	25. Movement

Spencer woke up whimpering. The sensation of a wet diaper was not one he enjoyed. He opened his eyes blearily and felt himself being lifted up into the air. The fuzzy image of his mother filled his vision. He was fully awake when he noticed the redness of her face. He could tell she'd been crying. His worry grew tenfold.

When he was changed, his frown deepened. Diana settled him on her hip, and he hugged her neck tightly. Her own grip on him tightened in response. He looked up at her, saddened by her grief. She cuddled him, trying to alleviate his clearly visible distress.

Once again, her guilt reared it's ugly head. She hated that her son felt bad on her behalf.

"It's okay, baby." She said, kissing his temple.

He tried to smile, but faltered.

She sat him down gently, and tried to push her sad feelings down, but like a spring under pressure, they kept bouncing back up.

"Do you want to read?" She asked, kindly. He nodded, still wary of his Mother's emotions. She pulled a collection of Chaucer's works from her bookshelf and began to read.

The day passed with startling speed. By the time nine o'clock rolled around, it was time for William to leave. Spencer was surprised to find himself depressed at the idea. Diana kissed her husband goodbye, and Spencer gave him a hug.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised. They walked him to the door and watched a taxi drive him away. Mother and son went back to their room and retired for the evening.

The next day came and went like a summer breeze. Spencer was sad to leave his Mommy, but knew he had a job to do. He left, swearing to come back the next weekend. He went back to his apartment and unpacked his things before heading off to bed that evening.

In the next few days, William began searching for a job at a law firm in Virginia. It was strange for him to do so, knowing that he was leaving the life he'd carved out for himself behind. But, the promise of being with his family was more important. He found a job at the Parker And Sons law firm three weeks later, and bought a house that was a mere twenty minutes away from the Piedmont Sanitarium. As he prepared for his move, he tied up the final ends of his life in Las Vegas. He had his sickly cat put down after fourteen years of life. He packed up his things and began his trip to his new home in Virginia.

Starting over in a new community was always hard to adjust to, but because of his rather introverted personality it wasn't much of a problem. The neighborhood was a quiet, suburban one, much like the home he had once shared with his wife and son. It was a three bedroom two bath home painted a distinct shade of medium blue. After getting out the essentials, he opened one new box per day and unpacked it. In another two weeks time, he'd finished all his unpacking and had gotten himself into the groove of a daily routine.

He got up at five thirty, showered, dressed, and had a suitcase and cup of coffee in hand by six. He stopped at a drive through for a light breakfast and was at work half an hour early so that he could prepare for the day ahead. He had his assistant go and buy his lunch, and usually finished his day around four thirty. After that he went to the sanitarium to visit his wife, and only when he got home at seven at night did he finally eat dinner. After that, he had three hours to himself to do what he pleased before going to bed around ten thirty. It was a constantly repeated pattern of living that helped him adjust to the major changes that moving brought. At the end of the day he finally felt satisfied with the path his life had taken.

Spencer's life had turned on a dime. Under the watchful eyes of two parents, he was much happier. All of his teammates noticed it at one point or another, but didn't ask. That, however, didn't stop their curiosity.

Garcia was the first to pull him aside and ask what the others were too polite to.

"Okay, sweetness, what's going on?" She asked with a smile.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"We've all noticed that you're way happier than usual, so dish!"

Spencer shook his head, smiling. "Sorry, Garcia. That's my secret."

Penelope's eyes narrowed. "You mark my words, Spencer Reid, I will find out what you're up to."

"I'm sure you will." He said, earnestly.

Weekends became even more important to Spencer, because they now meant time with his family. He watched the connection between his parents grow stronger by the day. Every time they shared actions or words of affection, it reenforced how hard they were working toward having a better relationship, and encouraged Spencer to do the same. He became closer with his Father than ever before.

Spencer's life had become perfect- which, of course, meant that something had to come along and ruin it.

They were investigating a series of missing person cases in Dumfries, Virginia when it happened.

Spencer had gone around to the back garage, hunting for clues, when a hand snaked around his face and shoved a chloroform-soaked rag into his nose. Although he put up a fight, he was overpowered and quickly taken away.

His captor, a vigilant man who had studied each agent on the team diligently, had chosen Spencer as his target because of his lack of fighting skill and his vulnerability to schizophrenia. He locked him in a steel room that had a camera on the inside of the door. The captor, a man who introduced himself only as "The Doctor", turned on the camera in an all-black ensemble with contacts and a voice modulator.

"Hello, agents. I'll make this brief- you have twenty four hours to go to the Fairfax County Adult Correctional Facility and release prisoner 5169558 from his cell. He will tell you the rendezvous point where you can find your agent after he is freed. Until then, Dr. Reid will be injected with a drug of my own invention that stops the effects of his medication. He will be held prisoner to his own mind unless you save him." He injected Spencer with the drug, and watched the terror flash across his features.

"Tick tock, agents. The clock is running out."

The screen went black.


	26. A Race Against Time

Hotch called Garcia immediately.

"The oracle is in, how may I assist you?"

"Garcia, pull up records from the Fairfax Adult Correctional Facility, prison number 5169558."

"You got it, boss-man. One second." He could hear her typing furiously. "Got it! His name is Casey Banks and he was arrested about a year and a half ago for the murders of three women and was sentenced to death by lethal injection a week ago."

"That's right around the time the missings started. Does he have any family?"

"Yes. His parents died two years ago, both from natural causes, and he has two brothers. His brother Dylan committed suicide two years ago and his other brother Kevin is a chemical researcher who works out of his home in Dumfries, Virginia and I'm sending you the address now."

"Has there been any shipments to his house lately?"

"He just got two in yesterday... Oh my goodness..."

"What is it?"

"The shipments were all the ingredients necessary to make ether and chloroform." They all shared a look.

"Thanks Garcia." Hotch hung up.

In the blink of an eye, they arrived at the home of Kevin Banks. A middle aged brown haired man with blue eyes answered the door.

"Hello. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Kevin Banks?"

"Yes?"

"FBI," said Rossi, holding up his badge. "We need to ask you some questions about your brother, Casey."

Kevin pursed his lips. "Of course. Please, come in."

They entered what looked to be a typical male bachelor pad. There was a flat screen TV, brown couch, a recycling bin full of pizza boxes, and a small kitchen that seemed unused.

Rossi began asking questions, but first asked if the other agents had his consent to search his house for clues. He complied, which made their job a lot easier.

Prentiss and Morgan searched the upstairs while JJ and Hotch looked at his lab.

At first glance the lab was deceptively plain. There were beakers and test tubes, a desk with notepads scattered messily over top of it, a pair of safety goggles, a whiteboard which held different mathematical equations, and cabinets filled with different chemicals.

"It doesn't look like anything's out of place." JJ commented.

"Don't be so sure." Said Hotch. Just under the desk was a tiny button, almost unnoticeable because it blended perfectly with the wood of the desk. When he pushed it, a smaller drawer hidden from plain sight opened.

Inside were two bottles of ether and chloroform, a rag, a small bag of a white, powdery substance, and three or four syringes. Hotch called Rossi.

"We got our guy."

They took him away, just as Prentiss and Morgan came downstairs.

"We found these in his bedroom." They held out a pair of contacts and a voice modulator to Hotch. He nodded.

"Good work. Now, let's find Reid."

Spencer Reid shivered in the cold steel room. He was freezing, but that was the least of his problems. The voices had begun their verbal assault. He knew the hallucinations would set in soon. He knew from "The Doctor" that he would only be in here for a day, but that didn't help his hunger, thirst, or need to go to the bathroom. He saw the camera recording him, and wondered if the government was watching him, just like Mommy had told him. Unconsciously, he started to whimper, terrified of what was to become of him. Because he was tied up, he couldn't even suck his thumb for comfort. The only other thing in the room besides himself, the chair, and the camera, was a syringe that was carelessly left on the floor. He wanted to examine it, but was very much aware that the hallucinations would begin before he could get very far. To his utter dismay, they had already begun.

Garcia had been digging up dirt on Kevin Banks all afternoon. A former government researcher, he had been fired for illegal experimentation. He had been given a few loans and grants to secretly and meticulously continue his work despite that. Besides the home he had for himself, the only property he owned was a tiny, run-down shack that was literally falling apart at the seams. She was about to call Hotch with the information when a new window popped up on her screen. At first it was just a little black square, but soon there was a white line coming across it, and she could tell it was loading something. When the trail ended, Reid appeared on the screen, head bowed, and rocking back and forth in the chair, constantly mumbling to himself over and over again.

"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." Each time it got higher and higher in pitch as he trembled in his seat and finally broke down and cried. She wanted to cry, but she knew she had to tell Hotch what she'd found. Still watching the torturous video, she called her boss feeling like her heart had been ripped out of her chest.

"Yeah Garcia, what have you got?"

"Kevin Banks owns one other property that we know of." She read them the address, and Hotch and Rossi decided to go and investigate it while Morgan and Prentiss took in Banks for questioning.

The tiny wooden shack reminded them of an outhouse. It was tiny, and couldn't have been more than 800 feet all the way around. It had an upstairs, which was more of a loft bed, and the downstairs held a tiny kitchen and bathroom.

"There's something we're not seeing here." Rossi commented. There was an area rug that covered a small part of the entryway. When they moved it, they revealed a tiny door, just big enough to fit a person through it. With their flashlights on, they found stairs that led to the bottom, like a basement. However, there was no big room at the end, just a skinny hallway that went both ways. Hotch went left and Rossi went to the right.

Hotch found that his hallway led to a confusing maze of rooms. It was almost like an entire underground network, only every single room was empty. Clearly, they had been used. For what, he did not know.

Rossi had found a route that was more clear-cut. There was a single wooden door with a lock on it, and an older, circular handle that was different shades of dark brown and white paint. When he unlocked the door, it led to a single room. There were boxes and boxes of canned food, toilet paper, guns, ammunition, and a few different mattresses with pillows and a blanket for each bed. He realized that Banks must have been preparing for the end of the world. What interested him the most, however, was the riveted steel door at the end of the room. He guessed that it was a panic room.

"Hotch," Said Rossi into his walkie talkie, "I think I found him."

"I'll be right there."

Hotch arrived within five minutes of the end of the call. They both glanced at the door, wondering if Reid was behind it. They both unbolted the lock and very slowly opened the door.

They were hopelessly underprepared for what they saw.

In the middle of the room sat Spencer Reid, who looked sickly after not even one day of captivity. Dark circles looked like bruises under his eyes and his skin was sallow. His face was gaunt and looked sunken in. His wrists were raw and bleeding as he tried to break free of his bindings. He shook with tremors going up and down his back, and kept mumbling to himself. Hotch called for a medic.

The light blinded Reid from inside the dark room, and a rush of terror swept through him. Was his captor back? What was going to happen to him? He couldn't see the face of whoever was coming in and tried to back away. The action made Rossi cringe inside. Spencer looked like a frightened animal who had lost his way from the pack.

"Reid? You okay?" The voice of David Rossi echoed through the steel walls and brought relief to Spencer. Still being tortured by his own mind, the words that came out were "Kind of..."

When his wrists were freed he rubbed them automatically, despite the fact that doing so against the tender skin was excruciatingly painful. He wanted so badly to cry. He fumbled into his pants pocket, fingers desperately trying to find his cell phone. When he did, he found out that it was dead. He tried not to show his disappointment, but failed miserably.

Hotch and Rossi both helped him stand up, and Spencer pointed to the syringe on the floor. Rossi grabbed it with a gloved hand and bagged it as evidence. The three of them then made the trek upstairs to the ground floor where the sound of the Paramedics arriving in their units echoed in the distance. Spencer begged Hotch to borrow his cell phone, and Hotch, somewhat surprised at his insistence, let him. His fingers frantically dialed the now familiar number, and he was disappointed to be sent to voicemail.

"Hey, it's Spencer. I just wanted to let you know that something happened and I'm heading to the hospital if you want to come and see me. I don't know what room I'll be in, but my phone doesn't work so I can't let you know. I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I have to go, the EMT's are here. Bye."

Spencer handed the phone back to Hotch in time to have a total meltdown just before the EMT's parked. He fell to his knees and started scratching furiously at his face, begging the voices in his head to be quiet. The medics were quick to sedate him before loading him into the back of their truck and whisking him away to the hospital.

Rossi agreed to stay with Reid while Hotch followed up with the rest of the team. Before they took their respective positions, they took a moment to wonder who Spencer had called.

William Reid had been on his lunch break when he finally checked his messages. When he heard Spencer's voice he nearly choked on his sub sandwich. The gears in his head were turning and he knew he had to take action. He told his secretary to cancel the rest of his appointments today on account of a family emergency.

He had barely gotten one arm in his coat when he scrambled to find his car keys and rushed out of the office door.


	27. A Little Faith

William drove as fast as the legal limit would let him as he made his way to the Piedmont Sanitarium. He rushed through the door, desperate to find his wife. He found Diana in the library. Diana, sensing his presence, looked up and was surprised.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at work."

He took her hand and led her back to the confines of her room.

"Spencer called and told me he's in the hospital. I don't know why, but I wanted to see if we could go together."

Diana nodded, her worry going into overdrive. "I'll talk to Dr. V as soon as I can."

Doctor Eric Vincent, colloquially known as Dr. V by other staff and patients, was Diana's psychiatrist at the sanitarium. Since she first came to them some time ago, he found her to be a very interesting patient. He was one of the few people who saw both her rationality and psychosis in equal measure. She had always been very kind toward him, and was a model patient when it came to punctuality. He was surprised, however, to find her waiting outside his office door hours early that afternoon. With a sweep of his hand, he ushered her inside.

"What can I do for you, Diana?"

"Dr. V, my husband has let me know that my son is in the hospital. I know you don't usually do this, but will you let me go and see him? He needs both of us right now and I can't afford not to be there. My baby needs me. If you want to send someone with us to supervise me, feel free. I don't care what it takes. Will you help me?" She pleaded. Dr. V maintained a look of calm. He could tell she was serious.

"William will be there with you, correct?"

"Yes."

"And you've taken your medication?"

"Yes." He set down his pen.

"I trust you. I know you will keep your promise. I ask that if you should feel any symptoms coming on that either you or William call and let us know so we can come and get you. And please, give Spencer my regards."

"Absolutely." She shook his hand, took the note that he told her to give to the front desk, and rushed out to prepare to leave.

William helped her pack her things and within an hour they were en route to the hospital.

David Rossi watched the sleeping form of Dr. Spencer Reid with wary eyes. The boy seemed to always get the short end of the stick. He had gotten a private room for him, and had been told by Hotch that Banks had confessed to had harboring the missings, but had moved them somewhere else and refused to tell where. Morgan and Prentiss were going to meet him at the hospital at the end of the day, but for now he was on his own.

Diana held her husband's hand tightly as they walked into the hospital together. They went up to the front desk and asked for their son's room number. On the second floor, in room 423, their child lay hooked up to wires and tubes. They walked briskly to the elevator as the anxiety in the air grew thicker. It dinged, and they walked through the seemingly endless hallway.

Rossi noticed people coming, but didn't think they would be there for Spencer. He looked out the window and was shocked to see William and Diana Reid holding hands as they made their way to the room. He quickly reclaimed his spot on one side of the bed.

Diana entered first. "Hello, Agent Rossi."

"Mrs. Reid." He nodded. "Hello, Mr. Reid."

"Hello." In perfect synchronization, they turned their gazes to their son. Diana squeezed his hand tightly, saddened by the red marks that marred her son's face. He led her to two chairs at the end of the room, and she hung her head in disappointment. William rubbed her back in soothing circles.

"This isn't your fault, Diana." He spoke her exact thoughts, but it didn't lessen her guilt.

"It may as well be. If it wasn't for my genetic code he wouldn't be here right now." It was a pained whisper, full of compunction.

"With all due respect, Mrs. Reid, if it weren't for your genetic code Spencer wouldn't be the genius he is now and we wouldn't have him on our team. Because of you he chose to do good with his life, and he has saved so many people because of that choice." Rossi said, quietly. Diana looked up at him in surprise.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Diana rested her head on William's shoulder. Their hands were clasped tightly together, each holding the other up in this time of sorrow. Rossi watched their interaction and realized that the two of them must have put the past in the past and gotten back together. That certainly accounted for Spencer's recent mood change. He looked at the boy, and the corners of his mouth tipped up into an almost invisible smile.

An hour passed in silent reflection. Diana finally stirred.

"I'm going to get a cup of tea."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Asked William, starting to get up. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"That's alright. I can manage. Besides, one of us should be here in case he wakes up." William nodded. "Do you want me to get you a cup of coffee?"

"That'd be great." He replied. Diana was quick to leave so that she could be back just as fast.

Five minutes passed in quiet. However, Spencer's eyes finally opened. The first person he saw was his father.

"Daddy?" He asked in a hoarse whisper. William smiled.

"Hey buddy. How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Sleepy."

"The sedative is wearing off." Rossi commented. Spencer didn't seem to hear him.

"Is Mommy here?"

"Yes. She went to the cafeteria to get something to drink. She'll be back in a few minutes."

He nodded tiredly. "Good. I really need to tell her something." William saw him desperately fighting sleep, and failing. He smiled.

"Go to sleep, Spencer. We'll still be here when you wake up." He promised.

Spencer nodded, and shut his eyes once more.

Diana came back minutes later with hot tea and coffee.

"He woke up long enough to ask where you were and told me he had something to tell you. He was exhausted, so I told him to go back to sleep."

She nodded, a little sad that she'd missed him, and sat down, carefully sipping her tea. Hot tea with a bit of lemon. It always revived her energy.

She sat and watched her son breathe for a long time. The only time she left was to get a bite to eat from the cafeteria. Hours went by, marked by 960 breaths per hour.

Finally, his eyes opened again, and Diana pulled a chair up next to him and stroked his hair gently.

"Hi, baby." It was a soothing voice, and Spencer blinked a few times before saying anything.

"Mommy?"

"What is it, Spencer?"

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" She asked in shock. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I didn't understand how much you suffered when I was growing up. I thought a lot of times that it couldn't be that bad living with schizophrenia, but I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly at him. "You don't have to be sorry for that. We've all done it at some point."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can."

"What's the worst thing that this illness has made you see or believe?"

Diana shut her eyes with a sigh. "I knew that question would come eventually. The worst things it ever made me see or believe all had to do with you being injured or hurt in some way. I know you don't understand now, but someday if you get married and have a child of your own, you'll understand that that is the ultimate torture for any parent." She gently placed his hand on his. "What did you see?" It was a soft question.

"I saw what it's like to die." He said, quietly. She squeezed his hand.

"It can feel so real. I know it hurts."

"I'm just glad that you and Daddy are okay. I was worried that you might not be here."

"Whenever you need us, we'll always be there." She promised, solemnly.

The tiny family gathered together at the side of his bed, and for the first time in a long time David Rossi witnessed a moment that boosted his ever-dwindling faith in humanity. He silently exited the room with a genuine smile on his face.


	28. I Just Fall In Love Again

Rossi caught up with Morgan and Prentiss when they arrived at the hospital.

"Kevin Banks finally broke and told us where the missings were hidden. We got all of them back home healthy." Morgan said with a small smile. Rossi nodded.

"Good."

"How's Reid?" Emily interjected.

"He's a little dehydrated, but otherwise he's fine. His parents are with him right now."

"Both of them?" She asked, confused.

"Both of them." He confirmed. "I finally found out what made his attitude change- his parents are back together."

"You're serious?" Asked Morgan.

"Very. They came into the room holding hands, they leaned on each other for support, and kept very close contact with each other the whole time."

"They could just be acting civilized because of the situation." Emily supplemented.

"No, it's more than that." Rossi dismissed. "I've been married four times, I know a couple in love when I see one."

They shrugged. Rossi wanted to roll his eyes, but fought the urge. "He's in room 423."

"Thanks." They quickly went inside, and Rossi followed.

The voices of Spencer and his parents echoed down the hall. They sounded cheerful- a stark contrast to what Morgan and Prentiss had anticipated. Before entering the room, they caught a glimpse of the family through the window. Diana and William were laughing together while Spencer watched with a smile. The couple shared a kiss that backed up Rossi's theory one hundred percent. Derek and Emily shared a look, and grinned. They knocked on the door, and Spencer turned his attention to his friends.

"Hey man, how are you doing?" Morgan said, pulling up a chair.

"I've been better. I've been worse." He conceded. "How did everything go with Banks?"

"That's one more face that won't see the light of day for a long time."

Spencer sighed in relief. "Good." He sat up in his bed. "Derek, Emily, this is my Mom Diana and my Dad William." The two of them nodded.

"Pleasure to meet you." Emily said, smiling.

"Likewise." Much like Spencer, Diana and William shied away from physical contact with other people. Spencer was a fantastic mediator between his parents and friends, and soon they were all laughing together.

When she wasn't looking, William often stole glances at Diana. She was ebullient. The brightest star in the sky. He was falling in love with her all over again, and was starting to get an idea in his head. He decided to enlist his son's help in it's execution.

When Diana excused herself to the restroom, he explained the idea to him, and Spencer jumped on board. It was a perfect plan. Absolutely brilliant. He felt honored to be included in it.

The next week William spent perfecting that plan. Every detail would be tended to. From the dinner, to the music, and even the lighting.

William went to the sanitarium that Friday and escorted Diana to her room, where he had planned a romantic candlelit dinner. She blushed.

"Did you do all of this for me?"

"I just planned it. I had a little help putting it together."

They ate roast chicken with smashed potatoes and mixed vegetables. They toasted glasses of water with lemon inside it. They talked and laughed together, and had a fabulous crème brûlée for dessert. A little while later, when the candles had melted to half of their size, the music began to play.

Anne Murray's "You Needed Me" floated all over the room. William took her hand and led her to a more open space so that they could dance together. She grinned as he pulled her close.

"It's our song." She said, leaning her head against his chest. "I haven't heard this in years."

"Me neither. You're the only one I'd listen to it with." She smiled.

"Still the charmer you were when I met you." She laughed slightly. "I'll never forget that day."

"Who could forget meeting the love of their life?" He was in no way sarcastic. It made her stomach clinch in a happy way.

"We were just kids back then." She said with a shake of her head.

"Maybe, but we knew what we were getting into."

"Did we really?" She asked, cocking her head to one side. He chuckled.

"I thought so. You know me, I'm always very intentional with what I do. I knew what I wanted when I married you."

It was direct, and caught her off guard. She looked down, but he lifted her chin up. Their eyes met, and the music began to fade. Their faces inched toward each other, and the song ended in a kiss. He ran a hand down her cheek in a gentle caress.

"I love you." It was a gruff whisper. She tucked a lock of brown hair behind his ear. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and her voice was thick with emotion.

"I love you too."

After the period of estrangement, they had found one another again. The two halves of their hearts met up again. Their souls remained entwined in marriage.

William got down on one knee and pulled a box from his jacket.

"Diana, I love you more than ever. You are beautiful, smart, and have a good sense of humor. You are perfect to me. I will never get the chance to describe how much you mean to me, because I'd be here for eternity. Would you do me the honor of marrying me again?"

The box contained a ring with a silver band and three princess-cut diamonds. She gaped for a minute, gained her composure, and her features softened.

"Yes."


	29. Family

Diana looked at herself in the mirror. She was still wearing her cardigan, top, and skirt, but the person in the mirror was a transformed woman that looked like her, but was a stranger all the same. Her life had turned on a dime. Her husband was involved with her life in a way that made her feel good. For the first time in a long time, she could definitively say she had a family.

She was brighter and vivacious, always smiling where she had once been indifferent. She glowed with joy. It filtered to everyone she interacted with. Even her doctors noticed. She saw her husband every day, and her son every weekend. She couldn't imagine anything more wonderful. As the days went by, she checked each off with a felt-tipped marker, marking time until her second wedding.

She hated wedding planning. It was tedious and costly and incredibly time consuming. She had allowed Spencer to handle many of the details while she continued her life in the sanitarium. William and herself continued to grow closer with the passage of time, and the day of their wedding quickly approached.

William kissed his bride goodbye as the 24 hours before the wedding approached, and they were forbidden to see each other. Diana watched him get to his car, feeling that same fluttering in her stomach that she had as a young woman when they had first begun dating. She couldn't stop smiling, even when her cheeks had begun to hurt.

The wedding was set to take place at a nearby hotel on a balcony. The reception was going to be held in a ballroom. Diana headed back to her room and pulled out her dress from the closet, which was in a plastic bag. She opened the bag and looked at it.

It was a ball gown that was the color of snow. It had long sleeves with a lacy trim, and a sexy but still modest v-neckline. The dress hugged her body and then flared out at the waist. The corseted bodice had intricate beading along the torso, along with the slight shimmer of sequins. It still fit, even after twenty years. Her veil was the same, with pearls at the top of the comb that set in her hair, and each layer of thin netting had sequins at the bottom, including the blusher.

She retired to her room early that night, and wrote an entry in her journal.

Friday: 09-19-14

_Dear Journal,_

Tomorrow I will be Mrs. William Reid for the second time. It's funny to think of how much times have changed since our first wedding. Life has a way of changing things, but some things are forever. Love is one of those things. It spans the months, years, and generations throughout time. I never thought I'd fall in love in love again, but I'm so glad I did.

More than anything, I have gained an appreciation for family. My whole world revolves around my husband and my precious son. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but I am so grateful they were given to me. I don't know if I believe in a God, but I feel blessed. My life may not be perfect, but it's pretty close.

I suppose I better get some sleep. It's going to be a big day tomorrow. Here's to hoping it's just as memorable as the first one.

When Diana woke, she was awake and very alert. Her joy was unmistakable. The clock was ticking, and she couldn't wait for the day to begin. She ate her breakfast and was swept up in the joy of what would eventually become one of the best days of her life. She got her hair done at the salon, then went to the hotel. The make up artist arrived shortly after, and another hour passed by in the blink of an eye. She was helped into her dress, and had her veil set into her hair. She began to put on her jewelry- A genuine pearl necklace, tiny matching earrings that dangled delicately from her ears. Finally, her blusher was thrown over her face, and she picked up her bouquet, which was made of red Roses, calla lilies, gardenia, and orchids.

Spencer took his mother by the arm and walked with her down the aisle to give her away. The priest smiled at them before beginning.

"The Union of husband and wife is one of the heart, mind, and body and is intended (by the Lord) for their mutual joy, for the help and comfort given to one another in the times of prosperity and adversity. The union grows as the couple become one in more and more ways on a growing basis as their love for one another.

Diana & William, life is given to us as individuals and the first lesson we must learn as a married couple is how to live together with each other. Love is given to us by our family and friends, We learn to love by being loved. Learning to love and learning to live together is one of life's greatest challenges. That is the goal of a married life.

But the husband and wife should not confuse the love of worldly measures, for even if worldly success is found, only love can hold a marriage together. Mankind did not create love, God created love and teaches it to us. The measure of a true love is one given freely and a love that is freely accepted, just as God's love for us is given freely and unconditional. Today is a glorious day that God has made as you reaffirm your love and vows for each other. Both of you are blessed with God's greatest gift of all, an abiding and true love of each other, and the reward of a life long companionship that entered your life through the love in your lives. As you travel through this life together remember it was love that got you here, it is love that will continue in your lives, and it is love that will cause this union to endure. I ask that you guard your heart and your love for one another, and hold it tightly in your hearts." Said Father Roy.

"William, Diana, please join hands as you renew your vows." They did so.

"Diana, will you continue to have William as your husband and continue to live in this marriage? Do you reaffirm your love for him, and will you love him, keep him, and honor him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you shall live?"

"I do." She affirmed.

"William, will you continue to have Diana as your wife and continue to live in this marriage? Do you reaffirm your love for her, and will you love her, keep her, and honor her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you shall live?"

"I do."

"May we have the rings please?" Asked the Officiant. He was handed the pillow and began to bless the rings. "Heavenly Father, bless these rings. Grant that William and Diana may wear them with deep faith in each other. May they do your will and always live together in peace, love and abiding joy. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen!" He handed them to each of them.

"William, please repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, with all that I am and all that I have I honor you, and with this ring I thee wed."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, with all that I am and all that I have I honor you, and with this ring I thee wed." He said, sliding the ring onto her finger.

"Diana, please repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, with all that I am and all that I have I honor you, and with this ring I thee wed."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, with all that I am and all that I have I honor you, and with this ring I thee wed." She put the ring onto his finger.

"William and Diana, as the two of you both now reaffirm you love for each other and the vows you made to each other many years ago, I charge that you each remember to cherish each other as special and unique individuals and that you each respect the thoughts and ideas of one another. And most all be able to forgive each other, and not hold grudges against one another, and I charge that you live each day in love with each other, always being there to give love, comfort, and refuge to each in good times and bad. Amen."

The officiant paused and grinned.

"Since William and Diana have now exchanged vows and rings, and pledged their love and faith for each other, it is my pleasure and honor to pronounce you Man & Wife. You may kiss the bride."

They shared a chaste kiss, and Father Roy smiled.

"I am please to annouce once again, Mr. and Mrs. William Reid."

The crowd applauded, and they walked back down the aisle together.

The wedding was a smash hit, and everyone went to the ballroom for a fabulous reception. The choices for dinner were roast chicken, steak, or a fish filet, and all three went over well with the guests. When it came time for toasts, Spencer was the sole speaker, and he was the only one they needed. He was the constant that tied them together after years of separation.

"Thank you all for coming today. It means a lot to my parents, and to me that so many people care about their relationship. I couldn't be more proud of them. After years of estrangement, I got to watch them fall in love all over again. Until you have experienced loving someone in that way, you don't really understand what it's like. I have seen that kind of love, but never understood it. I think now I never will, but to witness that kind of bond between people is an experience in itself. I watched them stick together in hard times, and lean on each other when they were close to falling apart. They inspire me every day to never settle for less than that when it comes to love. Here's to you, Mom and Dad. You did it." He raised a glass to them.

At the end of the night, before leaving on a second honeymoon, Spencer sat between his parents and hugged them tightly. He was the luckiest man alive, because he had an incredible family. He thanked his lucky stars for the life he had been given, and recognized that he was a better person because of it. As he waved to his parents while they got into the limousine, he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

He loved his family.


	30. Final Author's Note

**Dear Readers,**

**Thank you for reading this fanfic. I'm so excited that it's done, but it's also very bittersweet. Because so much of my heart went into this story it's surreal that this tale has finally reached an end. I say it often that when I write I always want to write something that I would want to read. It's worth it to me even if just one person enjoyed it. I hope you all had a good time reading this as much as I did writing it. I am on the fence on wether this story will have a descendant, so stay tuned, and thanks again for reading.**

**Sincerely,**

**Holly **


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